Audio Interview, Bill Giancursio, April 27, 2012

  • BILL GIANCURSIO: But I'm afraid I don't have a lot to add.
  • I wasn't on the Empty Closet for a very long time.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: But do you recall where it was before Jim's?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: You know, I was trying to remember that.
  • And for some reason, I just draw a blank.
  • Didn't you just interview Tim?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, it was at Jay Baker's for a while.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Tim was already the editor when
  • I worked for the Empty Closet.
  • And I think Joe Baker had it in his own private residence
  • up to that point.
  • But it seems to me there was some intermediary place
  • for a while before we moved to Jim's.
  • But I'm drawing a blank.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: It went from the U of R
  • to Brown Street to Joe Baker.
  • And when it left Joe Baker's, I thought--
  • I'm going to have to go back.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I think I remember Tim saying something
  • about an old empty warehouse.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Oh, that's right,
  • the warehouse on University.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, it was on University
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: But yes, that's right.
  • That's where I started working.
  • I'm having trouble remembering if it was the warehouse first,
  • and then Jim's.
  • I think it was the warehouse first, and then Jim's.
  • And then from Jim's, it went to Monroe Avenue, upstairs.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Right, the Genesee Co-op.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, no, actually not
  • even the Genesee Co-op.
  • There was another place in between--
  • Upper Monroe.
  • It was in a building upstairs.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Oh, Friar's?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, it might have been.
  • It was that--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Because Friar's is where Woody's is now.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yes, I believe it was.
  • I wasn't involved at that point.
  • I was just doing ads and dropping them off.
  • Deb Drexler was the Art Director at that point.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Alright.
  • Talk to me about Deb Drexler.
  • Who is she?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: She's a lesbian.
  • She got the CETA job.
  • Did Tim ever talk about the CETA job?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: No.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: There was a CETA job.
  • And you know, I'm not even straight on how this all
  • worked out.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: The second year of the funding.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: It was the government funding that was
  • set aside for the Empty Closet.
  • There were three positions.
  • One of them was artist.
  • And I was in line for the job.
  • But what happened is, it got hung up
  • in bureaucratic garbage somebody didn't
  • like distributing the funds.
  • The Chamber of Commerce wound up taking it over.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: That was the first year.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: And I couldn't wait.
  • I needed a job, so I went to work for the city school
  • district.
  • And Deb Drexler got the job.
  • She took it on for a whole year.
  • So she followed me as artist.
  • And I don't know where she is these days.
  • She just moved away.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: So you were the graphic artist before her?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yes.
  • Yeah, for not quite a year-- probably closer to nine months.
  • I think I started in March, and ran
  • through the rest of the year.
  • And then after that, I just did some ads for assorted people.
  • And I worked on production a little bit,
  • but probably only a year is all I worked on the paper.
  • I went through some of the issues to refresh my memory,
  • because it was a long time ago.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Now, were you involved with the Alliance,
  • other than being the artist for the EC?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Not really.
  • I didn't hold any positions or anything like that.
  • I knew people on the Alliance.
  • It actually wasn't the Alliance at that point.
  • It was the Lesbian Resource Center and the Gay Brotherhood
  • that made up--
  • and it later became the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley.
  • But when it moved into the Genesee Co-op,
  • and they tried to unify everybody,
  • including the newspaper-- at least that's my recollection.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Right, that was in 1973.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Was it that early?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yes.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, I don't have my newspapers
  • in front of me.
  • I thought it was 1976 when I actually
  • worked for the newspaper.
  • Because the bicentennial was in 1976.
  • And my last cover for the Empty Closet
  • was "Bye Bye Bicentennial", which was 1976.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: So they were already at the Co-op.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I think they may have been.
  • I know that we worked on University Avenue
  • in the cage for a while--
  • for several months.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: In the cage?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: It was in the basement,
  • over that gigantic industrial building on the corner
  • of University and Culver.
  • And in the basement was a caged-off area.
  • That's all I can tell you.
  • It was just a cage.
  • It was a big area, but it was all--
  • and we worked in a cage.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Who connected you to the EC?
  • How did you get involved?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: It's a romantic story,
  • if you want to know the truth.
  • And it's kind of interesting, because I was just coming out
  • of that time, in 1976.
  • Maybe a little bit earlier, '75 I started to come out.
  • And I was going to bars and stuff.
  • And I just wasn't meeting the right kind of people
  • that I wanted to meet.
  • It was just all very superficial.
  • And I thought, well, there has to be some substance somewhere.
  • And so I thought that I would get involved
  • in more political things.
  • Like, I met Michael Robertson, who was the president of--
  • well, it was the Gay Brotherhood,
  • but it also may have been considered the Gay Alliance
  • as well back then.
  • And I met Tim at that time too.
  • And I was kind of interested in Tim,
  • so I started working for the Closet, as a way--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Tim Mains?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah, getting to know Tim.
  • And getting to know other people, which I did.
  • And it just became much more--
  • a greater opportunity for social interaction.
  • As opposed to the bar, where everyone got drunk--
  • well, you know the dynamics of that.
  • Because there weren't a lot of outlets available to us.
  • You went to the bar to meet people,
  • or you didn't meet anybody.
  • And so you had to just kind of go
  • through that sort of meat-rack syndrome,
  • that was just really horrendous back in those days.
  • Well, for some people-- some people loved it.
  • But there weren't a lot of places to meet people.
  • And so social organizations like the Gay Alliance
  • and the Empty Closet were opportunities.
  • And there was a great social network too.
  • I mean, just among the men and the women.
  • We would have production meetings--
  • decide what the theme was for the paper for that month.
  • We'd meet like we are here, around a big table,
  • or in someone's living room.
  • And sit and talk about what the theme was going to be,
  • and who was going to handle what stories and stuff.
  • We didn't have a lot of actual people working for the paper.
  • A lot of it was borrowed from other sources.
  • And that was our biggest problem,
  • was getting reporters who could do local stories
  • and stuff like that.
  • A lot of it was composites from here and there.
  • And so it took a while for it really
  • to get the point where it is right now,
  • which is we've got a whole staff of writers and people involved.
  • But there wasn't a lot of that.
  • And so somebody would take responsibility
  • for the lead story, whatever it was.
  • And just kind of do whatever they could to kind of pull it
  • all together.
  • But it was really very, very elementary by comparisons.
  • It was all done on a typewriter.
  • Later on, we went to typesetting,
  • but initially it was all typed in columns on a typewriter.
  • And pasted-- in the old-fashioned way of doing
  • things--
  • that kind of cut and paste.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Are you from Rochester?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yes.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: So you were born and raised here?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yep.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: In what area of the city?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I lived over--
  • Broad Street, Smith Street, Grape Street-- that area.
  • Dutchtown, I guess.
  • I'm not sure if it exactly was Dutchtown,
  • but it was close to that.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: When did you begin, Bill,
  • to recognize, or sense within yourself that you were gay?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, growing up, I was an artist.
  • So I was always kind of a sensitive kid anyway.
  • And there was always something a little peculiar about me.
  • At least, I thought there was.
  • I just always felt a little alienated and different.
  • I don't know that I really classified it in my own mind
  • as being gay, until maybe I went to college.
  • Because I had been in the military prior to that--
  • in 1966 to '68--
  • so I really didn't think of myself
  • as being gay at that time.
  • Or I would have got out of the Army during the Vietnam era.
  • But I think shortly after getting out, and going
  • to college--
  • I started with the GI Bill.
  • I went to college, and started to meet other people.
  • And just kind of, like, met some gay people at college.
  • And sort of made that gradual transition to,
  • maybe I'm bisexual.
  • I think the way I approached it was, I said,
  • you know what, I don't know.
  • I have feelings for guys, and I'm also dating women.
  • So I'm not quite sure where I stand,
  • but I'm going to just give myself
  • a two-year period to kind of experiment with my sexuality.
  • Because, you know, during the '70s everybody
  • was doing that anyway.
  • It was sort of the generation to get stoned, and do
  • what you wanted to do.
  • So everything was very liberated at that point.
  • And so I just sort of took a couple of years
  • and experimented.
  • And I said, after two years, I'll
  • assess whether or not I'm gay.
  • And of course, I never looked back, so. (Laughs)
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Did it really take you two years?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, I don't think it did.
  • But I sort of set that as a deadline.
  • And then two years later, I said, well,
  • we have to come back and decide.
  • And I said, well, there's no deciding.
  • I mean, this feels natural.
  • This feels right to me.
  • And this is kind of what I've been maybe struggling
  • with all my life, on some level, and just not really aware
  • of it.
  • I mean, I clearly avoided a lot of intimate interactions
  • with women, because I sort of knew that it wasn't where
  • I wanted to go on some level.
  • So being with men just seemed more natural to me,
  • more comfortable for me.
  • And I don't ever think of it--
  • I never thought of it in a sexual context, initially.
  • It just felt like I was more comfortable in the presence
  • of men than I was with women.
  • Or at least that's where I wanted to be.
  • That's what I felt was missing from my life.
  • And you know, I think that sort of came from childhood.
  • Because my father died when I was six years old,
  • and my mother moved home with her mother and her mother's
  • sister.
  • So I was pretty much raised in a female household.
  • So that sort of, like, male connection
  • was kind of missing from me.
  • And there was sort of that desire, or curiosity,
  • or necessity to sort of find the maleness in me,
  • or find that sort of equivalency, whatever.
  • So I just naturally moved in that direction,
  • and just never looked back.
  • Thought, yeah, that's right.
  • The interesting thing is, Tim, who I initially
  • joined the paper for, and I became very best friends
  • for many years.
  • And eighteen years later at a fundraiser for Tim,
  • I met Tom, my husband of eighteen years.
  • So it was kind of full circle.
  • Eventually it paid off--
  • the social aspects of it--
  • which is kind of amusing.
  • But that's my story.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Where did you go to college?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: RIT and MCC.
  • I started at MCC.
  • MCC is actually where I started to come out.
  • I met someone in one of my psychology classes who was gay.
  • And we just kind of became friends.
  • And I met him and his partner.
  • And I would have dinner there.
  • And you know, just kind of like getting my feet wet,
  • and feeling comfortable around it.
  • And so yeah, that's where it started for me.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Where did you meet Tim?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Tim I met working on the Empty Closet.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: But how did you find him?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I knew he was the Editor of the Empty Closet,
  • because I would read the paper.
  • Actually it was a little confusing,
  • because I had him confused with somebody else.
  • I knew that he worked for the Empty Closet.
  • And so I thought, well, if I want to get to know him better,
  • and kind of get to be more sociable with other people,
  • I would go to work and bring my skills.
  • Because they always needed volunteers back then.
  • I mean, the paper was desperate for people to do stuff.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: When you were in the process of coming out,
  • were there other periodicals, other newspapers?
  • I mean, what were you finding out there
  • to help you with your meanderings?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Books at the library.
  • I would go to the library.
  • And that little section on homosexuality
  • is where I would sort of peruse books.
  • Just kind of find things like, Society
  • and the Healthy Homosexual, Loving Someone Gay.
  • You know, those are all books from way back,
  • that dealt with the concept that it's OK to be gay.
  • And it's not psycho--
  • and the other thing is too, back in college in 1976--
  • well, I was actually in college I think in '75.
  • It was around '74, '75 when the American Psychiatric
  • Association said, it's not a sickness to be gay anymore.
  • So we were just kind of coming into that mode, where
  • we were of the mind that it was alright to be gay--
  • that it wasn't a sickness.
  • So up to then, we didn't have any great role models, really,
  • to look to--
  • other than people who were flamboyantly gay.
  • And many of us just didn't identify with that role model.
  • And plus, you had society saying, these are sick people.
  • It was just not somewhere you wanted to be.
  • But reading periodicals-- books mostly.
  • The Empty Closet didn't have a large following.
  • We used to hand it out at the bars at night.
  • I can remember one evening standing
  • by the door handing them out.
  • Empty Closet, Empty Closet, Empty Closet.
  • And some very flamboyant guy took it from me
  • and said, "It certainly is empty!"
  • And threw it on the floor and walked out.
  • It cracked me up.
  • It was really very funny.
  • I didn't think about it that much, other than the fact
  • that it was something very amusing.
  • His perspective on it was, that there was really nothing in it.
  • It was kind of like, well, gee, maybe
  • we really need to put some more effort into this newspaper.
  • (Laughs)
  • But it met a lot of people's needs, I think.
  • I mean, it was important to have something out there,
  • other than just Stone.
  • Because there wasn't a lot to rely on,
  • other than those books.
  • And there wasn't a great deal in print.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And was this at Jim's, that you
  • were handing out the paper?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yes, it was at Jim's.
  • Because on nights when we did distribution--
  • when the paper was printed, after the bars at night,
  • we'd stand at the door and hand them out
  • at 2:00 AM in the morning.
  • but we were also working in the basement too, at Jim's.
  • Pamie and-- have you interviewed Pamela at all?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Pam Barrale?
  • Yes.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah, I thought it
  • would be kind of interesting to see if you could get some
  • of the production staff together-- the old production
  • staff-- to sit around and reminisce about the paper.
  • It might stimulate ideas among us.
  • Because we really were actually--
  • and I didn't know how much of this
  • you want to know-- the scuttlebutt behind the scenes.
  • But we really had a hard time with Tim.
  • Tim was just a despot from the very beginning.
  • He had worked on the newspaper at Ball State.
  • He knew how a newspaper had to be run,
  • and everything had to be done Tim's way.
  • There was no way, or Tim's way.
  • And it got to the point where people wouldn't work
  • for the paper, because of Tim.
  • Because he was so hard to work for.
  • These years later, it has proven that Tim is just
  • as difficult to work for.
  • I mean, that's off the record, of course.
  • But he is a perfectionist, when it comes
  • to doing things a certain way.
  • And we used to have interventions with Tim.
  • Where the staff would sit down, and we'd invite Tim over.
  • And we'd all have dinner.
  • And then after dinner, we'd sit.
  • And we'd say, OK, we have problems.
  • We have issues, Tim.
  • Things are just not getting done,
  • because you're pissing a lot of people off.
  • Because everything everybody does, you don't like,
  • or you find fault with.
  • So people say, well, fuck you, I'm not going to do it.
  • I'm just not going to work with you.
  • And that really, I think, was a major deterrent
  • in getting Tim to lighten up a little bit.
  • Because he was just so adamant about having things
  • done a certain way--
  • this level of perfectionism.
  • But that's something we joke a lot about, Pam and I, when
  • we get together and talk about how difficult he
  • was to work with.
  • And Geryllaeyn Naundorf was on the paper too back then.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Geryllaeyn, yeah.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Geryllaeyn was Pam's--
  • actually, they had a union.
  • They were together for about two years.
  • They used to live upstairs from Michael Robertson on Harvard
  • in Whitey's building.
  • So it was a fun group to hang with.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, I just want to kind of explore
  • just a little bit more.
  • You started talking about it a little bit,
  • but describe for me more about the environment
  • of being around that table, and putting this paper together.
  • And the kind of conversations you guys were having.
  • And you know, did you have any sense of what you were really
  • doing for the community?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I think we tried
  • to deal with issues that were important.
  • Like, we did an issue on rape in Rochester.
  • We tried to bring a consciousness, awareness
  • to people, about things that we felt needed to be--
  • there was really a high level of consciousness
  • raising in the production of the newspaper.
  • It wasn't just fun and games.
  • There was a serious component to it.
  • I think we really were trying to bring
  • an awareness to the public.
  • There really was that sort of serious component
  • to putting the paper together.
  • But it was difficult to do.
  • Because like I said, we didn't have
  • a lot of reporters, a lot of people
  • who were willing to come out.
  • And in fact, we had a few people working
  • for the paper using pseudonyms.
  • Who just didn't want to be identified, because they
  • were in the closet.
  • And so the environment was such, that it
  • wasn't easy to put out a newspaper locally--
  • when you didn't have a lot of local people
  • who wanted to be associated with it,
  • or wanted to have their names in print.
  • So we would sit around, and we would talk about it.
  • And we would kind of go down a list of, well,
  • who's going to do this?
  • And the room would go silent.
  • And then finally, somebody would say, "OK, I'll do it."
  • And then five minutes later, the same person saying,
  • "OK, I'll do it."
  • It was always a fragile sort of environment.
  • We knew there were things that had to be accomplished.
  • But accomplishing them also meant being very much out,
  • and being very much visible as being
  • connected to the newspaper.
  • And that was not an easy thing to do.
  • It really wasn't.
  • I think there was a time when, in the production
  • box on the newspaper, we would just
  • have people listed by their first names,
  • as staff members who were on production.
  • Who worked on production?
  • Joe, Pete, Mike, Bill, Mary.
  • We just didn't list names.
  • And we always had that disclaimer
  • in there, that anybody working for the newspaper,
  • it wasn't necessarily an indication
  • of their sexual orientation.
  • Because there was always sort of the fear that--
  • you know, it was new.
  • The concept of being out was not like it
  • is today, where it doesn't make a bit of difference
  • in a lot of regards.
  • I mean, there were still a lot of fear associated with it.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Talk to me about some of the graphic work.
  • Describe for me what kind of graphic work you were doing.
  • And describe for me, maybe, some of your favorite pieces of work
  • for a particular story.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, "Bi-bi Bicentennial"
  • was one of my favorites.
  • I mean, I used to do the cover designs.
  • I did them for about a year.
  • And we had "Rape in Rochester."
  • We had "Gays in Prison."
  • I could probably pull up all the covers and show them to you.
  • Every year, we had a different theme.
  • We had one for the political issue.
  • And I would come up with ideas, basically,
  • and talk to Tim about what would work.
  • Or we would brainstorm about what might be
  • an interesting kind of visual.
  • And then, I would work up the idea into some kind of visual.
  • And I would do the drawings.
  • It was basically all drawn by hand.
  • The production of the paper was the old way
  • of doing things, where you didn't do anything
  • with a computer, obviously.
  • And in fact, the only thing we did have done,
  • was the typesetting, eventually.
  • But up to that point, it was just all put together
  • piecemeal, in the old way of doing graphics.
  • Which was with blue lining on paper, and cutting and pasting.
  • And we had margins that we had to adhere to.
  • It was old-style production.
  • Where the pages would all be lined up,
  • and we'd just kind of cut and paste.
  • And wax everything, so we could move it around.
  • And just fill in here and there with a political cartoon,
  • or something.
  • I did a few of those.
  • But in fact, when I left the paper,
  • I went to work for the city school district
  • as a graphic designer.
  • And I was doing that same sort of stuff
  • for the school district, under the CETA
  • grant for a whole year.
  • And it was the same process, of just putting together
  • a newspaper, and a bunch of other periodicals
  • and publications that were just all done the hard way, by hand.
  • Well, I don't think it was the hard way.
  • It was kind of the fun way.
  • Now you do all that layout on a computer,
  • and it's a much different process.
  • But that's how it was done.
  • And we worked on a light table, too.
  • You had a light table so you could see what was behind you,
  • and could do drawings.
  • The other thing about production is, any headlines were all
  • done with press type.
  • You know press type is?
  • You buy sheets of--
  • and you kind of sit there and rub a letter at a time,
  • until you've made the words.
  • And so it was all done the old way.
  • It took an enormous amount of time to do it, really.
  • And we would have production week.
  • Where we would all sort of get together
  • on that evening, or that week before the newspaper
  • had to go to press.
  • That's when we would meet in the basement,
  • and start to put the paper together.
  • And stay up till very late, just working downstairs
  • in the cold basement with the rats.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Now, the graphics that you did,
  • were they all pencil?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: No, they were done in pen and ink.
  • They had to be a high-contrast pen and ink--
  • high-contrast black and white.
  • Occasionally I would do something in pencil.
  • But the reproduction really was a consideration,
  • of what would reproduce.
  • So it pretty much had to be done in high-contrast
  • black and white.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And that was, like, India ink?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: With pen tips?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah, done with pens, paint brushes.
  • Sometimes I would just do composite images.
  • Like, steal stuff that wasn't copyrighted,
  • and we could use that.
  • But it had to be stuff that would reproduce.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And then, it was sent to a printer?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: But before the printer,
  • you guys did it yourself, didn't you?
  • Or did you always have someone to copy it and print it?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, no, we didn't print the paper.
  • We'd put it all together, and then send it off to a printer.
  • Who would send us back a proof copy to look at.
  • And we would look at that, make corrections, and then send it
  • back.
  • I want to say Girling--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Was that Bill Girling?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Webster Post, Webster Printing.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah.
  • And eventually, Girling used to do the typesetting, too.
  • So yeah, we were not printing the paper.
  • We didn't have the means to print it.
  • Joe Baker used to print his own.
  • I don't know how he did it, on a mimeograph machine or what.
  • But we were a little more sophisticated.
  • We put all of the sheets together.
  • The technical terms for all of these, I've lost.
  • I don't remember them anymore.
  • Yeah, we would we would put it all together down
  • in the basement on light table.
  • And then, it would just go to the printer--
  • a stack of sheets.
  • It's interesting, because I pulled out--
  • I have hard copies of the issues that I did.
  • And I pulled them out to look through them.
  • And my recollection of the paper was
  • that it was much bigger and much more substantial
  • than it actually was.
  • Wow, I mean, I really thought this was something.
  • It's just really not a lot-- a few pages.
  • It was a step up from just a couple
  • of sheets of printed paper.
  • But it was certainly a big deal.
  • Back then, it was something, and it made a difference.
  • I think it did anyway.
  • And of course now, it's really quite slick,
  • the way it's all put together.
  • And it's quite substantial, and there's a lot of stuff in it.
  • It's a big paper now, compared to the way it was.
  • But humble beginnings.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Anywhere in this time period,
  • do you, or do you know anyone that
  • may have any photos of you guys working around the tables,
  • putting this thing together?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yes, actually there is an edition.
  • And I was looking at it, "The Empty Closet Looks At Itself."
  • And I was astonished to find that.
  • I have that at home.
  • It's one I worked on.
  • But it has the whole process of production--
  • how we put the paper together.
  • You might find that especially useful.
  • It was probably in June or July of '76.
  • You can find it online.
  • And of course, I do have a hard copy of it I can let you take.
  • It has pictures of us all down the side,
  • putting the paper together.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Those photos might be there now.
  • The original photos might still be down in the archives.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: They probably are.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: I'll make another date with you.
  • Because we've taken the photos from,
  • not only the Empty Closet, but other photos
  • that were in the archives, just in boxes.
  • And we've had them placed in archival paper,
  • and tried to help preserve them.
  • But in many instances, we don't know
  • who they are, what people they are, where it is.
  • And they do go back to the very beginning, practically.
  • There's pictures of Whitey.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Whitey took a lot of the pictures.
  • He was the photographer.
  • So all the pictures of the production staff working,
  • Whitey took.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: OK.
  • But my intention is to have a number of people come here.
  • Bring those up and say, OK, let's go through them,
  • and try to identify who, where, what was happening.
  • But can you maybe talk a little bit more
  • about the general environment of Rochester at the time--
  • in terms of what it was like to be gay in 1976, 1977.
  • You alluded to it, in terms of tremendous fear of being outed.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, just what I was telling you.
  • Just w happened with the CETA grant
  • was an indication of the homophobia in this community.
  • The fact that we got these three positions--
  • applied for the grant.
  • Tim and-- I don't know who wrote the grant,
  • but they were ironclad.
  • They were really put together well,
  • and we got a grant for those three positions.
  • I was talking to Tim about it, and I
  • don't remember exactly who was responsible for administering
  • the grant money.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: In the end, you mean?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: No, initially.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Community Chest.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: The Community Chest, OK.
  • And people just were outraged.
  • It seems to me it was somebody like Mike MacAluso
  • and his Citizens for a Decent Community, who took us to task
  • and started to block.
  • I'm not sure if it was him.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: It was Charlie Schiano.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Charlie Schiano, that's right.
  • That's exactly right.
  • He was on city council.
  • He blocked it.
  • And they just were holding up all this money because of it,
  • for months.
  • And finally, the Community Chest said, well,
  • we're not going to touch it.
  • We don't want our name associated with this mess.
  • So the Chamber of Commerce wound up taking it over.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: No, the Urban League took it over--
  • Bill Johnson.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: OK.
  • I'm not clear on it.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Bill Johnson, the Urban League, and Betty Dwyer
  • was hired to go through all the grants and reassign numbers
  • and so forth.
  • And then when it finally passed, Claire Parker
  • was the officer responsible for reporting here.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: There was some issue
  • with the Chamber of Commerce and gays.
  • I don't know exactly what it was.
  • Because years later, in the '80s,
  • I was part of the Rochester Gay Men's Chorus.
  • And we had a performance in the Chamber of Commerce.
  • And it was the first time that the Chamber of Commerce
  • allowed a gay-identified organization into the place.
  • And it was a big thing.
  • We had certain things we could and couldn't do.
  • We couldn't wave the banner that we were there,
  • because we didn't want to upset the community.
  • But they allowed us to go in and have a performance there.
  • And we thought that was a major victory for gays,
  • because we were allowed to go into the Chamber of Commerce
  • and have a performance.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Right.
  • The other issue with the chamber was,
  • the Alliance wanted to hold its annual dinner
  • at the Chamber of Commerce.
  • And Tom Mooney was the President of the Chamber,
  • and he wouldn't allow it.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Was that--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: With Jackie Nunn.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I don't remember the chronology
  • on that.
  • That was before?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: It would have been early '80s.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: It might have been before the--
  • because I think we started to pave the way for acceptance
  • again with the Rochester Gay Men's Chorus.
  • They let us in, after having denied the--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yes.
  • The Chamber then passed a policy saying,
  • no group could hold an annual dinner,
  • or have a dinner at the Chamber.
  • Did not disallow meetings or other gatherings,
  • but no annual meeting dinner, or anything like that.
  • And I do recall the Gay Men's Chorus
  • appearing at the Chamber, and singing.
  • And I think that was after, to try to kind of re-ingratiate
  • the Chamber with the community, so that it would not be--
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: If you wanted to check that,
  • you could talk to Nick Williams about that.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yeah, we're going to interview Nick.
  • He's on our list.
  • The CETA funding was particularly negative.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Nasty!
  • It was nasty.
  • It really was.
  • And it just made us aware of the fact that,
  • even though we thought the times were changing,
  • they weren't changing as fast as we thought they were.
  • I have this kind of element of militancy in me these days,
  • because when I hear people still struggling
  • with the issue of gay rights it just drives me up a wall.
  • Because it seems to me, that's something
  • I dealt with in the early '70s.
  • This is the 21st century, and we're still dealing with this.
  • It's like, what the hell is going on?
  • It just seems like, this is a long struggle.
  • It seems to me, we dealt with this a long time ago.
  • But we haven't.
  • People just don't evolve at the same level.
  • There's always the new people, who have to be educated
  • and brought up to speed.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: It's a new generation.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: It's a more accepting generation.
  • And I don't think the battles are as hard to win.
  • But there are still people who are
  • very cautious about identifying as gay.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: It's when we became a political weapon.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: It's true.
  • It's true.
  • Even though it's more culturally acceptable to be gay,
  • I think that it's still a big deal.
  • It is a big deal.
  • I mean, because of the social stigma, not so much.
  • But your family-- it's really--
  • I don't think any heterosexual family takes delight
  • in knowing that their children are gay.
  • I don't think that's ever going to change.
  • I mean, my mother, who knew my first partner, Bruce,
  • for many years--
  • when I told her I was gay-- when I finally came out to her,
  • she was devastated.
  • I said, well, who did you think Bruce was all these years?
  • She said, well, I always thought he was gay,
  • but I never thought you were.
  • We lived together.
  • She told me an interesting story about the Empty Closet,
  • when Bruce and I were traveling cross-country.
  • We took a summer off.
  • She walked into my house.
  • She used to pick up my mail and drop it off in my house.
  • She walked into the house, and she
  • saw a copy of the Empty Closet sitting out in the open.
  • She picked it up.
  • She said, "I put it down and backed out of the house,
  • and I wouldn't go back in the house again."
  • It was just--
  • Yeah, that totally freaked her out.
  • And that was it.
  • I said, oh geez, I didn't know I left any papers out.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Fear of the unknown.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: You de-gay your apartment, or your home?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, I also assumed
  • that they knew, even though it was never made clear
  • that this man I lived with was more than just a roommate.
  • But denial does strange things to people.
  • I've seen it happen in so many instances.
  • It's never a good time to really be out.
  • You have to forge your own way.
  • You have to make it a good time.
  • You have to make people who don't
  • accept you either accept you or get the hell out of your way.
  • You can't cater to them, and you can't bow to their attitudes
  • about who you are.
  • You have to find your own way.
  • And you really do.
  • You can't let other people crap all over you because of it.
  • And the minute you started thinking
  • you're less of a person because of it,
  • you're in a bad situation.
  • You just can't do that.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: In your own life, Bill, have you ever been afraid
  • because you were gay?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I don't know if afraid is the word I would use.
  • Probably cautious is a better way.
  • I teach at RIT.
  • I've taught there for twenty-five years.
  • Being a gay instructor has never been
  • something that I felt was an element of my personality,
  • or my being that I had to bring into the classroom.
  • It's not that I felt like I had to hide it,
  • but I also was cautious about revealing
  • too much about myself.
  • It wasn't until many years later--
  • like, probably in the last ten years--
  • that I've actually not been afraid to talk
  • about my husband, or my personal life,
  • if it ever got to that point.
  • I've always kind of eased around the conversation.
  • I would never lie about my self, but I would withhold the truth.
  • Essentially they're the same thing,
  • depending on how you look at it.
  • I don't think I was ever afraid.
  • I can't think of any instances where I was ever afraid.
  • Cautious, probably, is a better way of thinking about it.
  • Guarded-- always on guard.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Did you ever experience
  • being physically assaulted by anyone because you were gay?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: No.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: I'm thinking about the early days,
  • the bars--
  • Front Street Bridge.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah, that was a little before my time.
  • That was the earlier times.
  • That was before the stamp of approval
  • that we got from the American Psychiatric Association.
  • Yeah, Dick's 43 over on Stone Street,
  • that was before my time.
  • And then, on Washington Square, and the bridge--
  • that was also another time of a more homophobic--
  • I mean, there were always little components
  • where people would drive by and yell "fag" at you,
  • or something like that.
  • But you know, that was not really physically harmful.
  • I never found myself in a situation
  • where I was being persecuted because of being gay.
  • I've had other elements of homophobia.
  • I mean, my artwork is a lot about being gay.
  • I've had artwork taken down at RIT because somebody
  • was uncomfortable with the homosexual nature of it,
  • or content of it.
  • I've had that happen a couple of times.
  • Just a couple of years ago, the curator of the gallery
  • refused to hang a piece of artwork,
  • because it had frontal nudity in it.
  • And she interpreted it in a negative way,
  • and felt it was inappropriate.
  • So these sort of things are still there.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: But it didn't go any further than that?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, where could it go?
  • She had the last say about what went in the gallery.
  • And there was a little debate among the teachers,
  • as to whether censorship was to be allowed.
  • But I think some teachers felt that she
  • had no right doing that, and some felt that it's her call.
  • So basically, yeah, she won.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: But it didn't get to a level
  • where you were afraid you might lose
  • your position as an instructor?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: No because-- well, you know, not really,
  • because I'm an adjunct.
  • I'm not really a tenured teacher.
  • If anything, I only teach from quarter to quarter at RIT.
  • The fact that I get a contract renewal every quarter,
  • is just the luck of the draw.
  • They recognize my skills, and they keep me on.
  • And also, RIT saves a lot of money by hiring adjuncts.
  • They don't have to give us benefits,
  • and they get quality out of us.
  • No, I never was afraid.
  • Because for the longest time when I worked there,
  • Eric Belman was the chairperson.
  • Then, after Eric left, somebody else took over.
  • Then, I was a little concerned that could happen.
  • But no, the chairperson is a good friend and an ally.
  • And she would never--
  • she was actually supportive of my work.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I want to go back a little bit.
  • You eventually ended working for the Empty Closet.
  • Reason for leaving?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: (Sighs) Dare I say it?
  • I just couldn't work with Tim anymore.
  • I just reached the point where I just didn't
  • want to deal with him anymore.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: What did you do, then, afterwards?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I actually met my first partner at that point.
  • And for seven years, I was just in a relationship.
  • And we went out.
  • We were social with other gay people, and stuff like that.
  • But I just backed away from the political aspects
  • of being gay for a while--
  • until that relationship broke up.
  • And then, I just felt the need for outreach again.
  • And that was seven years that Bruce and I were together.
  • And so seven years later, is when I joined the Rochester Gay
  • Men's Chorus for ten years--
  • and was pretty usable in that organization.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: That's '84, '85?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah, somewhere through there.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: What about police harassment,
  • in terms of the police taking down license plate
  • numbers outside of bars?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: There was always rumors of that going on.
  • We'd be in the bar and hear that was going to happen.
  • There was one night I remember in Jim's, when
  • the word was spread around that police
  • were coming into the bar.
  • But you know what, we didn't think really
  • that much about it.
  • It wasn't the same kind of fear that people experienced
  • in the earlier years.
  • Where, you know, in Martha's they couldn't touch each other,
  • or they couldn't dance together.
  • It's like we just said, screw it.
  • I mean, this was after Stonewall.
  • What are they going to do?
  • It was like small potatoes.
  • Rochester?
  • What do you want to do?
  • You want to tie us to a stake and burn us?
  • There was an element of militancy
  • there, that we just didn't give a shit.
  • And I think that that's the kind of pride that was instilled
  • in you when you stepped out.
  • And you said, you know, I'm not going to just
  • hide in the shadows anymore.
  • I'm working for the newspaper.
  • That's not a big deal, but I have a degree of visibility.
  • And it does feed into your self-esteem--
  • that you're doing something positive,
  • and that makes a difference.
  • It's the way it works.
  • You take small steps.
  • But there's an element of reassurance,
  • and forming your self-identity as a gay person, that I think
  • is a good thing.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Talk about the Gay Men's Chorus.
  • And your feelings about who you were,
  • and who you are when you were a part of that group.
  • The kinds of things that the Chorus brought
  • to the community, gave to the community, instilled
  • in its members. (Side conversation with Kevin
  • Indovino) What was that like?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Chorus was very interesting.
  • It was a lot of fun, first of all.
  • And it was also another opportunity
  • to elevate your consciousness about being gay.
  • I think, in a lot of ways, I had a higher consciousness
  • about being gay than many of the members.
  • I think a lot of the members were just there
  • to play and have fun, and didn't want to think
  • about what they were doing.
  • I saw a political thread running through the music we did.
  • And Nick and I locked horns on occasion
  • about things particularly the fun stuff, the stuff
  • the Rochettes used to do.
  • I would say to him, "I don't think that that's appropriate.
  • I honestly don't think that we should present ourselves
  • in this way, as men who want to run around in dresses
  • and wear wigs."
  • And you know, I think Nick had a very shallow consciousness
  • about being gay.
  • To him it was all camp.
  • It was all fun, it was all silliness.
  • And I would say, but how is the public perceiving this?
  • Because our audience is not entirely gay.
  • We have a straight audience.
  • And I don't want to stand up there and reinforce
  • all of their beliefs about what gays should be.
  • In fact, many years later, after I stopped being a member
  • of the chorus-- and I stopped because of political
  • conflicts--
  • I took over as producer for one whole year for the Chorus.
  • And did a lot of work, and had a lot
  • of trouble getting people to come out and do the real work--
  • the sets and the production, just a lot
  • of the behind the scenes work.
  • And I basically stepped down, because of some issues
  • I had with a whole production that we were doing--
  • where I didn't feel that women were portrayed
  • in the most appropriate manner.
  • I thought there was a lack of feminist consciousness
  • in what we were doing.
  • And I said to Nick, I think this is wrong.
  • And the board took it up, and sort of tweaked the program,
  • so that we weren't coming off as being anti-feminist.
  • But the whole process put me on the defensive.
  • And said, OK, I don't want to do this anymore.
  • Because you guys just don't get it.
  • You really don't.
  • You don't understand the difference, the distinction,
  • the fine line between doing things properly, and doing them
  • inappropriately.
  • And so I just didn't want to be a part
  • of the organization anymore.
  • What I was going to say is, years later, Tom
  • and I took Tom's mother to see a Christmas concert
  • of the Gay Men's Chorus.
  • And it had been probably close to 10 years since I had been--
  • because I was with them for 10 solid years.
  • And we went, and I don't even think
  • Nick was the conductor anymore.
  • He may not have been.
  • Or maybe he was.
  • I just don't remember.
  • But the Rochettes came out and did another production number
  • of song and dance.
  • And the whole Chorus took part in it.
  • It was this whole sort of--
  • production piece, we used to call them.
  • And it was just absurd.
  • It was so absurd.
  • And Tom's mother was just like--
  • she made some comment about it that
  • just made me think that the portrayal is just
  • such a negative portrayal.
  • She was talking about the dresses, and the hair.
  • And just stupid things--
  • the silliness that they were doing, they thought was fun.
  • But it was really having a very negative impact
  • on gay identity.
  • And I could never get them to understand
  • this level of being tasteful in what they were doing,
  • and in what they weren't doing.
  • They always took the easy way out, and the sort of campy way
  • out.
  • Anything to put on a dress and a wig.
  • I just said, this is bullshit.
  • Why do you want your audience to think
  • that this is what we want to do, and this is the way we
  • want to be perceived.
  • We're gay men, and we bring an amazing gift.
  • Why do we have to cheapen that by stooping
  • to these kinds of levels?
  • And so I just found that after a while,
  • I didn't think the consciousness of the Chorus
  • was high enough for my standards.
  • And I didn't want to be a part of it anymore.
  • And I still don't.
  • I don't go to concerts.
  • I'm really just not interested.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Was there any sense,
  • though-- when you joined, were, generally,
  • the men in the Chorus proud of being gay?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yes, there was a strong group of cohesiveness.
  • I mean, the gala concerts that we
  • used to do around the country were just spectacular--
  • just spectacular.
  • There's just nothing that compares
  • to that sort of exaltation of being
  • a part of that organization, and bringing that gift of music
  • to the public.
  • The level of excellence, and the amount of work
  • that goes into doing that-- and the professionalism--
  • is just amazing.
  • And especially when you're with all
  • of these other performers-- from Seattle,
  • and New York City, and San Francisco.
  • I mean, this is top-notch stuff.
  • These people are not messing around.
  • I mean, they sing in Carnegie Hall.
  • You know, this is not--
  • and so you have this level to rise to.
  • Yeah, it was pretty spectacular.
  • I went to one gala conference in Minneapolis.
  • I think it was one of the first ones--
  • maybe it was the second one.
  • And that was in '86, I think.
  • And that was quite remarkable, quite amazing.
  • I think that put Rochester on the face of the map
  • for a lot of other people, because of our performance.
  • And I had something to do with that too,
  • in terms of costuming and stuff.
  • And so it was kind of neat to be a part of all of that.
  • And yes, the men all got along pretty well.
  • There was just a real strong sense of cohesiveness
  • and brotherhood among the group.
  • And the music was everything, it really was.
  • It really was.
  • In our off time we went out and danced and drank and played
  • and there was a social element to it
  • as well that was kind of nice.
  • It definitely was a strong sense of belonging.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: I go to the concerts as often as I can.
  • But I have always sensed tremendous pride
  • in the men who are on the stage.
  • They were not afraid.
  • They were not unwilling to be out there.
  • Because if you were in the Gay Men's Chorus, you were gay.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: True.
  • But the music was first and foremost.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yes.
  • And I have to say, the very first concerts that I attended,
  • the music took precedence over anything else.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: And I think it still does.
  • There really is that level of professionalism
  • that comes through.
  • Nick was really adamant about that.
  • He was a music teacher as well, so he wanted this level
  • of excellence in the Chorus.
  • And he really worked hard for that.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And I do think--
  • the camp and so forth aside--
  • it gave the community a tremendous sense
  • of pride in being a gay community.
  • In being a part of the gay organization
  • that provided this entertainment.
  • I will never forget the year that one
  • of Nick's former students appeared on the stage
  • with the Gay Men's Chorus.
  • He and the Chorus members made being gay OK.
  • There was no sense of shame.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, that's part of the whole continuum,
  • from where we started with the Empty Closet.
  • And how we moved into these social organizations,
  • and political organizations.
  • And sort of crept out more, and more, and more.
  • And I think when the whole movement with the Gay Men's
  • choruses came into being, it was another way of gaining,
  • not only visibility, but respect and recognition for the gift
  • you have-- and what you bring to the table.
  • So it's kind of legitimacy, you know.
  • We're not just crazy people who go to bars and get drunk.
  • And screw around with each other,
  • and walk around in dresses, and want to be girls.
  • It sort of took all of those stereotypes
  • and pushed them aside, and brought new ones
  • to the table for us-- for people to be aware of.
  • And so, I think that that's just part of the whole continuum--
  • the movement toward acceptance as gay people.
  • And then, the women's chorus started up--
  • the idea of bringing the gift of music,
  • and using it as a unifying factor.
  • But you know, I think gay people have always
  • been part of the arts.
  • Which is why I've always been somewhat
  • comfortable in my own skin, as an artist who is also gay.
  • My books that I do--
  • I've done six books now.
  • They're pretty out there, in terms of, I'm gay,
  • and there's no denying it.
  • My work is very gay, and it has a political undertone,
  • if you see beyond the superficial aspects of it.
  • And so that's all part of just developing
  • a sense of pride in who I am, and bringing that
  • to other people.
  • Age does a lot too, Evelyn.
  • As we get older, and realize that our days on this planet
  • are limited, that most of our life has been lived,
  • how do you want to spend the rest
  • of your days, the remaining days of your life?
  • Do you want to live in fear and still hide who you are?
  • Or do you want to say to people, screw you, I don't care.
  • It's my life.
  • It's almost over, I'll live it the way I want to.
  • It's kind of like you just develop that.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: You go beyond the things that hold you back,
  • that used to hold you back.
  • And you're not afraid any longer.
  • It is a rite of passage.
  • It is a way in which to leave a legacy.
  • And leave to a future generation,
  • not only what you've become, but what
  • you dream the future to be--
  • and can be.
  • You have always, in your artwork and in your generosity
  • to the community, given a tremendous amount
  • of your talent, your time, your energy.
  • And that will continue on--
  • whether one person is affected, two people are affected,
  • a whole group are affected.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, I think we
  • don't have a way of knowing what effect we have.
  • We just do what we have to do for ourselves.
  • And sometimes it makes a difference,
  • and sometimes it doesn't.
  • But you just have no way of assessing that.
  • I don't know that my artwork affects anybody.
  • I do it just because I need to do it.
  • And that's the simple justification for it,
  • in my mind.
  • And in spite of what I do for the community,
  • I think of all the things I don't do for the community--
  • that I might be doing, and could be doing,
  • and I don't do anymore.
  • Because I'm selfish about my time.
  • And my husband, on the other hand, is an altruist.
  • He's truly-- is a driving force.
  • He can't stop, that's who he is.
  • And you know, I give of him.
  • That's my contribution now is Tom.
  • I sit back, and I'm more of a behind the scenes
  • kind of person.
  • But I've always been that way.
  • I'm not the kind of person to be really out front.
  • I don't like calling attention to myself.
  • It's just my nature to be that way.
  • But I know that in a lot of subtle ways I effect.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Did you ever think, in 1976,
  • that the Empty Closet would be printed and produced
  • for this long?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I guess I never really thought of it.
  • I just did the job I did because it served
  • a purpose, on many levels.
  • It gave me a sense of strength and reassurance
  • about who I was, and about how I wanted to identify myself
  • as a gay man.
  • And the kind of self-respect and pride I
  • wanted to take in who I was.
  • And it also filled a need.
  • And I guess beyond the time I spent there,
  • I just had no way of knowing how long it would go on.
  • It's sort of like any organization-- people step
  • down, and others step in to fill those vacancies.
  • I think without Susan Jordan, the newspaper
  • could not have continued.
  • She has really been the driving force in that.
  • There's no doubt about it.
  • And I think its days might have been numbered without her--
  • without her contribution.
  • She has made it what it is, and she's kept it going.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Twenty-three years
  • as editor is an extraordinary feat for anyone.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: It is, there's no doubt about that.
  • And there are so many other people
  • who are part of the paper now, that in the past would not
  • have been visible, or would not have come forward.
  • People write columns.
  • People get involved in the process--
  • there's a whole staff.
  • And it's just doing a great job.
  • And it's such a valid newspaper, in terms of what it brings.
  • I read it every month when it comes out, or at least
  • flip through it, and find things in there that
  • are of significance and importance to me.
  • The thing that I think is really so amazing in the newspaper,
  • when I look through it now, I read the ads
  • to see who's not afraid to be associated
  • with a gay newspaper.
  • Who's come to the smart realization
  • that we have money too, and we spend money too.
  • Courting the gay community is not a bad thing,
  • because we spend money too.
  • So it pays to advertise in our newspaper.
  • There was a time when we couldn't
  • get people to advertise in the newspaper,
  • because of fear of stigma from being associated
  • with a gay newspaper.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, initially, there
  • weren't many advertisements at all.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: No, most of the gay organizations-- the bars.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: The bars, primarily, yeah.
  • But I don't know that there was much space
  • to put in much advertising.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, the advertising
  • is what paid for the newspaper.
  • And so we needed to sell advertising to keep going.
  • So there was always that fear that we
  • weren't going to have the funds we needed to put out the paper.
  • The paper defined itself, in terms of what we had available.
  • And how far we could go with it, in terms
  • of the pages and the production.
  • It's just the way it worked out.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: From where you are today, looking back,
  • what would you identify as the proudest moment of your life
  • as a gay man?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Wow.
  • I don't know if I could pick any one.
  • There were different ones at different times
  • that have been significant, for different reasons.
  • I think probably one of the most significant moments in my life,
  • was being able to get married--
  • Tom and I going to Massachusetts,
  • and going before a JP, and getting married.
  • It was like, wow, this is really happening.
  • This is amazing.
  • I would never have believed it.
  • So much so, to the fact that I never
  • thought that I would do it, because it just
  • seemed like marriage was nothing that could ever really happen.
  • So it just sort of like ruled it out across the board,
  • as just not being a part of my life.
  • And just to be sitting there, exchanging
  • vows with somebody that I had been with for much of my life.
  • And you know, that was pretty substantial.
  • Being at the Gala Conference in Minneapolis
  • was another amazing experience.
  • I think those are probably two of the most
  • significant events in my life.
  • I mean, I've been to the parades,
  • and marched in the parades.
  • Parades are just not me.
  • I don't understand parades.
  • Whether it's a lilac parade, or whether it's a gay parade,
  • it just seems kind of silly walking down
  • the middle of the street, waving banners and flags.
  • It's a celebration, and I understand
  • the significance of it, but it doesn't do it for me.
  • The small victories are the ones that work for me, although Gala
  • was not small by any means.
  • But we were small--
  • Rochester was small by comparison
  • to the other communities.
  • And we excelled in such a way that it
  • was a very amazing experience.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Did you ever think, in your lifetime,
  • that you would see gay marriage in New York state?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I was optimistic--
  • that, yes, once it started to happen,
  • it was going to happen in New York state.
  • I can remember listening to Eliot Spitzer saying,
  • it's going to happen.
  • It's just a matter of time, but it will happen.
  • And believing that it would--
  • when he spoke at the ESPA dinner.
  • So yeah, I believed it would happen in New York.
  • But you know, it's like I said to Tom,
  • "We don't have to wait for New York."
  • And we didn't.
  • When there was a lot of debate about whether we should
  • opt for civil unions or marriage,
  • there were a few members of the community who
  • were courting politicians, and suggesting that we would
  • be happy with civil unions.
  • And I said, you know, we don't have to settle.
  • We already have the right to be married.
  • We can go to any state and get married,
  • and have it recognized in New York state.
  • And that's what you do.
  • You don't wait for New York.
  • You go somewhere else and get married.
  • As long as New York was of the mind that we would recognize--
  • once that happened, there was no reason to wait for New York.
  • Because once they said we'll accept marriages
  • from other places, go somewhere else.
  • If New York doesn't want your money, take it somewhere else.
  • So that's how we approached it.
  • And we've not been married in New York state.
  • We don't see any need to be married in New York state.
  • We are legally married in the state of Massachusetts.
  • And the state of Massachusetts is the state to watch,
  • because they're the ones who are challenging the federal law.
  • And if they win, we win.
  • I'm a very strong liberal-minded person,
  • and I have issues with the whole concept of marriage.
  • Why people need to get married to validate their love--
  • they don't.
  • We really don't.
  • From a legal standpoint, I understand it--
  • in terms of benefits, and stuff like that.
  • Because marriage really discriminates
  • against individuals, and I think that's unfair.
  • I don't think that you should be denied rights
  • because you're not married, that people who are married get.
  • That's an inequality, as far as I'm concerned.
  • And marriage, to me, is a very heterosexual concept.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: I agree.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: So I think it's all
  • bullshit, really, to treat people differently because they
  • carry one label, or not.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, that tradition
  • goes back hundreds and hundreds of years,
  • and is not something that we have instituted per se.
  • It was instituted 2,000 years ago,
  • and not about to be broken down, and those rights
  • taken away from anyone.
  • However, I do believe as you clearly stated,
  • the benefits and the rights that come
  • with being in a relationship that is committed--
  • gay men and women need to have those rights,
  • and those benefits.
  • I wish there was another way to label it, to identify it,
  • perhaps.
  • Because it is a heterosexual concept.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: And we all know that the real reason
  • for opposition is rooted in religion.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Right.
  • It has nothing to do with the legality.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: No, it has nothing
  • to do with the secular aspects.
  • It's really all about religion, which
  • is obviously the most driving evil force in the world today--
  • organized religion.
  • Which is just absurd, from my perspective,
  • why people feel the need to go to a church that doesn't
  • support their belief systems.
  • Or why they need a church to tell them
  • how to conduct themselves morally, is just beyond--
  • I mean, if you believe in God, you
  • don't need church to substantiate that belief
  • system.
  • You can go right around the church.
  • You don't need that intermediary.
  • You don't need the church to tell you how to believe in God,
  • or what to believe in.
  • You, morally, know right from wrong.
  • And if the church isn't telling you what you want to hear,
  • then don't listen.
  • But people can't think for themselves.
  • It's a catch-22-- they're so afraid of that whole concept
  • of being condemned and damned for eternity.
  • They buy into that bullshit, and they just sort of feel
  • that they're afraid to stand up for what they believe in.
  • And it takes a lot for them to do that.
  • I mean, that's the whole basis of homophobia.
  • It was the thing in my mother's mind,
  • that rebelled in shock when I told her that I was gay--
  • this whole concept that it's morally wrong.
  • And it's, like what's going to happen to you,
  • because you're a sinner, you're evil, you're bad, you're wrong.
  • It all comes from indoctrination from the church.
  • I think marriage is another thing just
  • gets caught up in that--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Process.
  • So Bill, after all your years of living,
  • and all of your experiences, if you
  • were to have the opportunity to share the wisdom of those years
  • with young people, the youth of today,
  • what would you tell them?
  • Or, what do you tell them?
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Yeah, I still do talk to young people.
  • And I realize that there is a process of self-acceptance
  • that is the basis for everything you do in life.
  • And I think that that's really where it all begins.
  • I've seen some people who have absolutely no problem being
  • gay, and being who they are.
  • And other people who struggle with it all the time.
  • And I think the reason that they do, is because of self-image.
  • Because of being handed this belief that
  • they are second-rate people in many ways.
  • It's not just being gay.
  • Self-esteem is not just predicated
  • on your sexual identity, but a lot of other things.
  • I feel that life is short.
  • And you don't realize it when you're twenty years old,
  • because you think you have so many years ahead of you.
  • And what they don't realize, is that the years
  • go by faster as you get older.
  • And it's very true, as you well know.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Too fast.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: And you run out of life
  • very quickly so why should you spend
  • your time doubting who you are and struggling
  • with your self-image.
  • Do the reading.
  • Do what you need to do to improve.
  • If you've got issues, deal with them.
  • Don't just wait for them to resolve themselves.
  • It doesn't happen that way--
  • until you become assertive enough to say,
  • OK, this is a problem, I'm going to deal with it,
  • And you deal with it in the right way, it's always there.
  • So you need to quit wasting your life.
  • Get on with it, and live it.
  • And live it the way you want to live it,
  • and don't let anyone tell you how to live your life.
  • If the church is an issue, don't deal with the church.
  • If the government is an issue, do
  • what you need to do to come to terms with that.
  • Join an organization that's working to change things.
  • It'll improve your self-esteem, even though change
  • is, as I found, very slow.
  • I thought, in the '70s, we were on the verge of a breakthrough.
  • That once we got that psychological approval
  • that we weren't sick anymore, that life
  • was going to change overnight.
  • And it didn't-- it just didn't.
  • And it felt like--
  • it's been such a long, hard struggle.
  • And we're just starting to see it
  • reaching a level of fruition.
  • It's been a long life.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, it has been.
  • But I think in the overall picture
  • from the time we begin this battle of equal rights
  • which maybe people put down to Stonewall
  • but it really was fermenting before--
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Centuries ago.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: So, 1969 to 2012, is forty-three years.
  • In comparison to, how long did it
  • take the women to get the right to vote?
  • How long did it take for slavery to not be an institution?
  • How long did it take for the United States
  • to not only declare its independence,
  • but to create a government which was
  • inclusive of all of the states?
  • Not a long period of time, when you compare it
  • to other movements, and other histories.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: You're right.
  • I just don't understand the thinking
  • that goes behind some people's assertation
  • that they are superior, and that other people are
  • subject to them.
  • Whether it's women, whether it's minorities--
  • like gays, or blacks, or Hispanics, or what it is.
  • That whole element is pretty peculiar to me,
  • that puts some people in a position of power and status
  • over others.
  • That creates this whole kind of element of--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, you bring up an interesting point.
  • And I'll just briefly share with you--
  • my own sense, is that when you are comfortable with yourself--
  • when you have said, I own what I am, and what I'm not.
  • I accept that I have been given life--
  • have not taken it, or earned it, that it is gift to breathe.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: To get out of bed in the morning is a gift.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: You begin to see people
  • in a very simple paradigm--
  • we all shit, we all eat, we all breathe.
  • We'll begin life and we'll all die.
  • There is no better or worse.
  • There is no power.
  • The human condition is the human condition.
  • What makes one different from the other--
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Or what makes one feel superior to the other,
  • is really what's the issue.
  • And I don't understand how some people
  • feel they are born with an entitlement over other people.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: You learn that.
  • It is not innate.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: I don't think it is either.
  • But it doesn't have anything to do, necessarily,
  • with socioeconomic status.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: No.
  • It has to do with attitude and it
  • has to do with previous history, and how you
  • look at that previous history.
  • If I don't feel I'm any more important, or any less
  • important than anyone else.
  • I'm very happy to say, I don't have the degrees that you have.
  • That doesn't imply I'm any less smart, or any smarter.
  • We're just different.
  • And whenever we have differences, there tends to be,
  • in our mind, a hierarchical ordering of those differences.
  • And that hierarchical ordering comes
  • because we don't feel safe and secure within ourselves.
  • BILL GIANCURSIO: Well, the other thing about discrimination
  • and prejudice, is the fact that people are getting better
  • at concealing it.
  • But I don't think that it's gotten really any better.
  • I think it's alive and well.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: I'm going to say, thank you for the interview,
  • and for sharing your thoughts.
  • So I can turn this off.