Audio Interview, Paula Silvestrone, May 12, 2012

  • EVELYN BAILEY: We're going to begin with the recording.
  • But are you from Rochester?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Yeah, I grew up in Webster.
  • And I went to college in Tampa.
  • And then I went grad school.
  • I was in San Diego for five years
  • and then came back just really to kind
  • of get a jump start my career because things
  • were really rough in Southern California at the time.
  • But there's no way that I'd stay in Rochester.
  • Things took off, and--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And what was your degree in?
  • What--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I had bachelor's in social work
  • and a master's in counseling.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And with that, you were hired as--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well, I started out
  • as a social worker in developmental disabilities
  • at Arc of Monroe.
  • And then I became more of a bit of a clinical position
  • at De Paul Residential Group Homes and Apartments.
  • And then I actually got a promotion there
  • to program director.
  • And that program grew very, very quickly.
  • So I got lots and lots of good management experience
  • and had a good mentor.
  • And then an opening came up at the American Heart Association
  • for executive director, and I went there.
  • It was a nightmare, nightmare.
  • It was horrible.
  • It was-- really?
  • You know you've got some--
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I know people that have worked there.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Oh my God.
  • Well, first of all, I mean, they were independent,
  • the Rochester chapter.
  • But I knew that they were requiring all the New York
  • state chapters to merge into one chapter.
  • But it wasn't done kindly.
  • And the board members were treated poorly.
  • The staff was treated poorly.
  • I was treated poorly.
  • It was just--
  • And plus, the staff I inherited, they were all like--
  • I had like eleven heterosexual women
  • who had been there for like twenty years, who knew nothing
  • but doing things the same way, who would backbite.
  • I mean, they'd have these screaming cat fights.
  • I'm like, what the fuck?
  • You know?
  • I couldn't stand it.
  • I hated it.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Wow.
  • Wow.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: So I lasted a year and a half,
  • which was a year and a half too long,
  • but I got advice to stick it out.
  • And it was my stepping stone.
  • When the whole thing hit the fan with Jackie--
  • and I had always had a fascination with working--
  • I wanted to work with AIDS Rochester, but--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Why?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: That's a really interesting question.
  • I've always leaned pretty far left.
  • So I was attracted to causes, I think,
  • that really served oppressed people.
  • I had had a lot of contact, especially through my theater
  • activities, with gay populations and just felt
  • some strong connections there.
  • And it was obviously a population with a strong need.
  • And people that obviously were committed to it
  • were going to be pretty open-minded in many, many ways
  • and certainly be open to the different types of people
  • that they'd be serving.
  • But interestingly-- and this part's off the record--
  • when I worked at De Paul, Mary--
  • what was Jackie's partner--
  • Mary Lou Komarek worked there and--
  • did you know her?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yes.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Were you friends?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yes.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: OK.
  • Well--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Not very good friends, I mean--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I personally think
  • she had a severe personality disorder.
  • And she really could rile things up.
  • I mean, she'd have group staff against the clinical staff
  • against the clients.
  • Like I said, I mean, it got crazy.
  • And she left there on poor grounds
  • and was suing agency the and then took a lot of people
  • with her.
  • And, oh my God, it was crazy.
  • So I wanted to stay as far away from her as possible.
  • And that was really the main thing.
  • I mean, it sounded like there was
  • some dysfunctional relationships going on over there,
  • although I didn't really--
  • I wasn't that close to know.
  • So I didn't volunteer for that reason.
  • But when the opening came up, well, as I said,
  • I hated the Heart Association.
  • I thought, I don't even want to be an executive director
  • anymore.
  • But if I do, there's two causes that I really
  • could put my heart into, and that
  • was Planned Parenthood and AIDS Rochester.
  • And Planned Parenthood had just turned over.
  • They had just gotten a new ED.
  • And then when the position came up at AIDS Rochester,
  • and there was all that crazy media and nuttsiness,
  • I'm like, whoa, what's going on?
  • I mean, people get fired every day.
  • So what's going on?
  • And I knew Mary Lou had to be at the center of it
  • because that was her MO.
  • And I'm like, I really don't want
  • to go from the frying pan into the fire here.
  • So I just held off.
  • But I remember being at a fundraiser for Tim Mains
  • and talking with Tim.
  • And I met Tony Greene there.
  • And it was four months later, and it was still open.
  • And I'm like, well, you know, I might as well apply,
  • go to the interviews.
  • It's always good practice to interview.
  • Well, I had one interview, and I got offered the job.
  • Like, whoa, now what do I do?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Who interviewed you?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Bill Valenti, Lynn Friedman, and Hazel
  • Jeffries, I think was the team.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And Hazel Jeffries--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Hazel, yeah.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yeah.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: And so I did my list of pros and cons.
  • And then I did my list of what I thought I was going to I
  • need to be successful there and went to the three that
  • offered the job.
  • And I said, what I'm going to need
  • is for you to really stay out of my way
  • and let me make the changes I think need to happen.
  • And the board needs to be professional.
  • And we need to do that.
  • And I said, "I will give it nine months of my life.
  • I will give it everything I've got,
  • and we'll see what happens from there."
  • And they honored their word.
  • I mean, they had already done the bulk of the work by--
  • there was a big brouhaha with the board at the time where
  • there was like the elections were overthrown,
  • and all kinds of craziness went on.
  • So they had already gotten some of the dysfunction
  • off the board, not to say there wasn't still
  • some left, but started professionalizing
  • themselves and requiring that.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: What year was this?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: 1989.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And can you give me or bring my head back
  • to that era?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Oh, yeah.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: What was the picture
  • of AIDS like at that time?
  • I mean, for the community--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: There was no treatment really.
  • I don't think there was even a test yet.
  • So people were just scared out of their minds, especially
  • gay men.
  • And they were dying.
  • I mean, people would get symptoms, and they would die.
  • That's it.
  • So all we could do what make their quality of life
  • as good as possible and do whatever
  • we could to spread the prevention word
  • and to support people because they truly were--
  • all the stereotypes stories you heard
  • were true where their families disowned them.
  • And they weren't allowed to hold their nieces and nephews.
  • And the trays were left outside their hospital rooms.
  • And it was a very, very lonely place to be, very sad.
  • And you couldn't help but have your favorites.
  • Again, I think Tony Greene who gave me nothing but shit
  • initially.
  • I mean, he put me through the test.
  • You can imagine.
  • But, you know, we fell in love.
  • He just basically said to me one time, "If I were heterosexual,
  • I'd marry you."
  • (laughter)
  • We had great respect for each other
  • because I think we had the same goals.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I want to touch on him just
  • a little bit because we hear that from a lot of people
  • about Tony.
  • And I'm trying to get a sense--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Did you know Tony?
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I met him briefly just before he died.
  • I met him at one of the HPA things
  • down in Midtown, the the Dining for Dollar things.
  • What was it about him that really made him
  • such a force in the whole AIDS care and--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: He had a really strong personality.
  • He would not let up until he got what he wanted
  • or what he thought was important, loud mouth.
  • Like I said, wouldn't back off, but bright and personable.
  • So the combination was powerful.
  • Knew everybody in town.
  • Because of his strong will, he was
  • difficult to work with sometimes.
  • You had to do it Tony's way or the highway.
  • I mean, oh my God.
  • One thing that's so sad is, until the day I left,
  • Tony's mother and brother would call me and write me,
  • "Where's Tony buried?
  • Where's Tony buried?"
  • His ashes, I guess.
  • Because there became this rift between his parents
  • and his friends.
  • And he did not love his mother.
  • His mother was pain in his side.
  • And so I think this is his ultimate payback to her.
  • And I just-- I mean, thank God I didn't
  • know where he was because I could truthfully say,
  • I just don't know.
  • And I didn't want to know.
  • But that was Tony.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I know where part of him is buried.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: You know what?
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I know where part of the ashes are buried.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Oh, don't tell me.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, I'm not going to.
  • (laughter)
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: And even his dying process was very Tony.
  • I mean, he would joke.
  • And he would say--
  • I've got really awful pictures of him
  • where he was just skin and bones literally.
  • And he would throw off the blanket
  • and say, "Take a picture of me.
  • I want people to know what this is like."
  • We named-- we developed a housing program that ended up
  • being very successful without having to actually build
  • a building.
  • It ended up being better in the long run, I think.
  • But we named it the Green House Program after Tony.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yeah.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I seemed to remember that.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: He had a tendency to be in your face.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Oh, yeah.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: But my sense--
  • I mean, I observed him interacting with friends,
  • with people who he knew who had AIDS.
  • And as difficult as he might have been,
  • the compassion and the strength of his belief that you're
  • worthwhile.
  • Regardless of the disease, you matter.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: And he was a good role model for that too.
  • Yeah.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: The Alliance has a very--
  • well, it's now funny.
  • It wasn't then.
  • In one of our Empty Closet articles about HPA,
  • we outed him as HIV positive.
  • And he came to The Alliance.
  • At that point, we were at Atlantic Avenue.
  • And he said, "I'm going to sue you guys.
  • You did this to me!"
  • And Chic, I think, was president.
  • And she said, "Now, Tony, calm down.
  • Calm down.
  • It was not intentional.
  • We did not mean to do this.
  • It just kind of came out,"
  • Well, he did calm down.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I'm surprised.
  • (laughter)
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And he became the poster child.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Yeah, he did really.
  • Yeah, he did.
  • And it was always difficult to find spokespeople
  • in those days.
  • And it's really one of the most effective ways
  • to get the prevention message across
  • was to show real people with HIV that people could relate to.
  • And it was very difficult to get people
  • that had decent communication skills that
  • were willing to speak on camera especially.
  • But, you know, you can stand up in front of people
  • and spout off all the facts you want, and it just
  • doesn't make the impact as when somebody with HIV
  • stands up and says, it happened to me.
  • I didn't think it could.
  • It could happen to you.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: And we didn't really
  • have that at all until someone like Magic Johnson
  • finally stepped up.
  • And everybody went, oh, wow.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well, especially
  • on the heterosexual side.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I mean, you had the Liberaces and Rock
  • Hudsons that were kind of flamboyant cases,
  • or extreme cases in some ways.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: So when you took over AIDS Rochester,
  • what was your biggest challenge?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I think there were two that ran concurrent
  • and were dependent on each other.
  • One is changing the culture, professionalizing it
  • at all levels, whether it was at the board level, staff level,
  • client level, volunteer level.
  • Everybody had bad habits--
  • you know, no boundaries, none, zero, zip.
  • Well, actually, remember we used to have that house
  • over on Hayward Avenue.
  • It was a duplex.
  • And we had three gay men on each side.
  • And one of them was on the board.
  • And he wouldn't pay rent.
  • He just didn't want to pay rent.
  • And it was set up right by the government what amount of rent
  • they had to pay.
  • And it was like 20 percent of their income.
  • So it was reasonable.
  • And this person just, "I have to buy presents
  • for my mother for Christmas."
  • And I'm like, OK, work with me here.
  • Can you pay me ten dollars extra month to get caught up,
  • whatever.
  • Wouldn't.
  • And so I started making noise about evicting him.
  • And he started telling lies to the board about me
  • about the whole situation.
  • And I could not defend myself because of confidentiality
  • issues.
  • And here, in essence, this is a person
  • who's on a group of people who could fire me.
  • So it just got so sticky sometimes.
  • And eventually people just needed
  • to learn that that kind of stuff didn't fly.
  • But it was tough.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: So two challenges--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: OK, so there was the cultural challenge,
  • in terms of cleaning things up, professionalizing it.
  • The place just physically was disgusting when I walked in.
  • People were smoking everywhere.
  • It was dirty.
  • And people looked like slobs.
  • And they'd come to work when they wanted to.
  • My feeling always was-- because ultimately we
  • ended up in what were pretty nice offices.
  • And actually I sometimes get criticized for that
  • because they looked like we spent too much money on it,
  • which wasn't the case.
  • I was always somebody that was pretty
  • good at cutting a good deal.
  • And I believed that the people we were serving
  • deserved the respect of a nice environment
  • and of professional-looking and professional-acting people
  • to serve them.
  • I don't think that that meant that we
  • had to put ourselves in some elite place
  • that they couldn't relate to.
  • But I just felt that that was respectful to the people we
  • are serving.
  • So that was a big shift.
  • And the other was simply financial and getting us
  • to a point where we could survive because we were
  • in a hole when I took over.
  • And a lot of people were waiting for their bills to be paid.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Talk a little bit about the funding,
  • the federal response, the state response,
  • the community response, in terms of financial support.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well, the state, especially at the time,
  • was probably our biggest asset.
  • And they really poured big money into AIDS
  • for a number of years.
  • Actually one of the challenges was--
  • they would throw big chunks at us big grants
  • so often that it was hard sometimes
  • to keep up with the growth, both in terms
  • of administrative infrastructure and just
  • hiring and training and getting those programs off the ground.
  • Of course, that came to a screeching halt
  • eventually, about ten, fifteen years later.
  • And they were fairly progressive in a lot of ways.
  • On the other hand, their bureaucracy grew very quickly.
  • I mean, what blows me away is that the AIDS Institute didn't
  • exist in 1983.
  • And by the time I took over, I think
  • they had 400 employees or something all needing something
  • from you.
  • That's what burned me out the most,
  • I think, was the government requirements,
  • the ridiculousness of them, and some of the politics involved.
  • But they're what kept the money flowing.
  • The feds-- we didn't have any direct federal money.
  • We had federal money that came through the state.
  • Ryan White obviously had a big impact,
  • and that funded a lot of different things, which
  • was helpful.
  • But where I really saw a change, and it
  • was more of a political change and a funny change
  • because when George Bush, the second George Bush,
  • got into office, and he started what we heard--
  • well, I don't know if it was a Jesse Helms thing or what.
  • I can't remember-- but that no materials or no prevention
  • education could be put out there that promoted homosexuality
  • or drug use.
  • Pretty difficult thing to interpret.
  • But he was interpreting it pretty conservatively,
  • obviously.
  • And so they would create this whole huge system
  • where any material you used or any speech you used
  • or any film you used had to go through this review board.
  • And how do you not talk about those things
  • and do HIV prevention?
  • So politics made of a big difference in that field.
  • Locally, we got a little bit from Monroe County Health
  • for a little while, but there was politics at the county
  • too because I had set up the syringe exchange program.
  • And Bob King was the county guy at the time,
  • and he wasn't at all happy with me.
  • And the Republicans weren't at all happy with me.
  • And we actually had someone on our board
  • who was in the legal department at the county who
  • said, whenever your little 40,000 dollars mental health
  • grant comes up, they go into executive session,
  • and the Republicans say, is there
  • any way we can prevent this money
  • from getting to AIDS Rochester?
  • We don't want them to have it.
  • That's how much of a grudge they held.
  • But they weren't going to be a big source for us anyway.
  • Medicaid eventually became a big source in terms of billing
  • for case management.
  • And one of the first things I did was apply to United Way
  • here.
  • And we actually also applied to United Way of Steuben County
  • and became member agencies of both.
  • And I think that was huge because, in this community,
  • obviously, United Way is huge.
  • And it was kind of a stamp of recognition
  • that we were a part of the mainstream now.
  • So that was huge.
  • And we end up getting some decent chunks of money
  • from them.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And what was the relationship
  • that AIDS Rochester had with the HPA?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well, it was grants.
  • I mean, you had to apply every year
  • and tell them what you wanted to use the money for and follow
  • their rules, and they kept changing as HPA evolved.
  • At one point, it was pretty much CHN and us
  • who share most of the money.
  • But there were a lot of other players starting to get
  • involved in AIDS after a while.
  • And it started getting really divvied up, I think,
  • into a lot smaller piles.
  • But at one point, actually, CHN and--
  • the event was kind of dying.
  • And CHN and AIDS Rochester approached HPA
  • and said, why don't we take it over?
  • We've got the resources to maybe keep
  • the event going or re-energize it or whatever.
  • And they weren't interested at the time.
  • So unfortunately, that seemed to die a slow death after that.
  • I mean, what an amazing thing that they did though
  • in their prime.
  • My God, the event was amazing.
  • It really kept people's emotions,
  • I think, involved in the cause, a great gathering every year
  • everybody seemed to look forward to.
  • Can I get water?
  • (unintelligible) Sorry.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I'm going to ask you this when she gets back.
  • So it'll give you some time to think about it.
  • But I want you to kind of define for me core mission of AIDS
  • Rochester because I know it was very different
  • than the core mission of CHN and the core mission of HPA.
  • We're trying to get kind of a clear understanding of,
  • we had all these different agencies
  • doing different things.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Absolutely.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: So where are you now?
  • Are you just retired?
  • Wow, how fun for you.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: It is.
  • It really is.
  • I did not think I'd be one of those people
  • that it would be a big adjustment
  • for because everybody said it was.
  • Because a year earlier, I had been out two or three
  • months with back surgery.
  • And I really enjoyed my time once the pain
  • was under control.
  • The first year was tough.
  • And I think partially was I was so wiped out from the merger.
  • I mean, the job itself had gotten
  • really tough with funding.
  • And then the whole merger was just
  • like doing five jobs at once.
  • And emotionally difficult because there's so many
  • people reacting to so many changes.
  • And making sure that I advocated for what I thought
  • was going to keep the agencies strong.
  • So I think I was just holding on.
  • And then it didn't just go away on January 1st.
  • (unintelligible)
  • EVELYN BAILEY: That's all right.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Thank you so much.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: You're welcome.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I was going to ask
  • her this when you came back.
  • Kind of just describe for us the core mission
  • of AIDS Rochester because it was different than what
  • CHN was doing and HPA, and they were all different things.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: There were really two facets.
  • One is to provide support services--
  • in other words, anything that the medical almost,
  • making sure all that was in place for people,
  • and also to make sure that the medical was in place
  • and that it was ongoing, that people
  • were going to appointments, that they were
  • able to take their medications.
  • But oftentimes, with people with HIV,
  • especially as the disease evolved more and more
  • into the impoverished populations,
  • HIV was almost the last priority in terms of what they needed
  • to address in their lives.
  • If they didn't have food, if they have telecare,
  • if they didn't have a roof over their heads,
  • if they were getting beat up, if they had a substance abuse
  • problem, then who's going to worry
  • about getting to the doctor for their HIV or even getting HIV?
  • So making sure all of that was in place for people
  • and their lives stable enough so that they could pay attention
  • to their medical care.
  • And being the link with the medical providers also.
  • And then the whole prevention continuum,
  • and that started out with a lot of HIV 101,
  • which eventually became obsolete pretty much because the schools
  • were doing it.
  • And by then, everybody pretty much
  • knew how you did and didn't get HIV.
  • So it was more really concentrating our efforts
  • on the most at-risk populations.
  • And that was one thing that drove me a little crazy about
  • the state is they kind of went through this
  • population-of-the-year thing.
  • And that's where they'd be throwing money.
  • So obviously, it was on the gay population initially.
  • But then it became migrants.
  • And then it became women.
  • And then became something else.
  • And we're like, that's all good, but they
  • would take it away or just ignore the fact
  • that it was still hugely an epidemic with gay men
  • and needed to stay concentrated on it
  • because we saw it backsliding.
  • So I think the AIDS Rochesters of the state
  • were called CSPs, or community service programs,
  • as kind of the state designation for them.
  • We were very well organized.
  • And we were all the original AIDS providers.
  • And so we, I think, were a good strong advocacy voice
  • for the gay population all along, even as a lot of money
  • started getting thrown toward the minority
  • community-based organizations.
  • And everybody in the world started getting in on HIV.
  • I hate to be cynical, but when there's money out there,
  • that's going to attract every other service
  • provider in the world.
  • And it really started getting fragmented, I think.
  • And we could not, can not let up our focus,
  • on especially the gay male population since they continue
  • and have always been at very high risk.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I'm interested in your opinion on how
  • AIDS care and awareness moved from a health
  • initiative to almost a political initiative,
  • of how it actually kind of propelled
  • some of the gay activism--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: True.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: --that we now see.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: True.
  • Yeah, I mean, I don't want to use the words silver lining
  • because that's too positive of a word for AIDS
  • brought to this world.
  • But it certainly did gel the gay community
  • and gel the gay activism.
  • But from the start, I mean, Reagan's administration
  • really did ignore the problem and allowed
  • it to flourish unfortunately.
  • And The Band Played On, I think, speaks to that beautifully.
  • But then after that, Bush's policies that I talked about,
  • the whole sensitivity around syringe exchange.
  • And that is all political.
  • It has nothing to do with good public health.
  • And we're constantly beating the drum for.
  • But this is what's going to keep people alive.
  • And this is what's going to keep--
  • if you don't care about keeping these people alive,
  • which was just part of the problem
  • because some people thought let the gays and the druggies
  • die off.
  • That's fine with me.
  • Well, it's going to cost you a lot.
  • And you know what?
  • It could happen to your son.
  • It could happen to your cousin.
  • It could happen to you.
  • (laughter)
  • But constant education and advocacy was necessary.
  • You don't have that in heart disease or kidney
  • disease or all worthy causes.
  • But that extra element of having to fight
  • for what was right against some pretty
  • conservative principles in this country is an ongoing battle.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Did you have any interaction with ACT UP?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: No.
  • I don't know that there was a local chapter.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: There was.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Was there?
  • It must have kind of died off by the time I came along.
  • The only-- actually this is kind of fun.
  • I went to the International Conference
  • on AIDS in San Francisco in 1990,
  • early 1990, so shortly after I was hired.
  • And Tony Greene went, too.
  • And ACT UP was really acting up out there.
  • So that was a lot of fun to see.
  • (laughter)
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Yeah.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: You know, also,
  • and I don't know how much this is politics.
  • It's just people's natural fears.
  • But when we actually did try to build an apartment building
  • on the corner almost of Winton and Merchants.
  • And we looked for a site for years
  • and finally actually were steered toward that site
  • by the city but had to make some zoning changes.
  • And I went in door to door with--
  • Do you remember Zane?
  • I can't even remember his last name now.
  • He was--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Zane?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Very involved in the gay bowling tournament.
  • A quieter Tony Greene, a lovely man.
  • I go door to door with him.
  • And people would say right to his face,
  • I don't want you here.
  • So we ended up losing in the zoning hearing.
  • And it was from neighborhood pressure.
  • Same thing, the neighborhood got organized over this.
  • And it was actually very scary for me
  • because there's nothing more personal to people
  • than when you're going to move in next door to them.
  • And there was a very, very, very heated public meeting
  • at East High.
  • I remember, one time--
  • always it was very hot.
  • It was a very hot summer day.
  • And I was standing up there.
  • And people were grumbling and mumbling,
  • and you could see the anger on their faces.
  • And a fist fight broke out in the back.
  • And there was some big guy sitting in the front row.
  • And he just kept mumbling, mumbling, mumbling.
  • And then I heard him say at one point,
  • "We're coming out to Shore Drive," which is where I live.
  • And I got some threatening phone calls.
  • And I have not had my address listed in the phone book since.
  • (laughter) It was kind of personal.
  • And the same with needle exchange, not quite where I
  • felt like my life was threatened,
  • but I was accused of committing genocide
  • because I was going to be handing out syringes
  • to their people.
  • And I'm like, no, I'm trying to save them.
  • (laughter)
  • What are you doing?
  • And I think that program is the one
  • I'm proudest of because I really think it's the most blatantly
  • effective program that such a quick change in statistics.
  • And it was clearly--
  • whenever I would struggle with an issue like that
  • and I was having a lot of political pressures
  • and even some people that were prominent in the gay community
  • sometimes would have their own opinions
  • and would pressure me to go a certain route with something,
  • I would just go home.
  • And I would think, what is the right thing to do?
  • And my heart was the right thing to do.
  • And then I was always able to proceed from there
  • and do what I thought was really right for who we were serving.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: I was going to ask you
  • about that because here you are, a woman, and all
  • of what that means in this society,
  • working for a cause that certainly had
  • immense proportional dimensions of health involved,
  • people's lives involved, yet such opposition at times
  • and such criticism and such constant barrage of need
  • on one side, criticism and hate on the other,
  • how did you maintain?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Martinis.
  • (laughter)
  • I'm not altogether kidding.
  • (laughter)
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And why did you maintain with the martinis?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Yeah, why did I stick it out?
  • How I maintained really is that I always
  • was able to come back to that I was doing the right thing.
  • I mean, one of the beauties of the way AIDS Rochester
  • was set up and the services that we provided
  • is we saw the people we served in the halls every day,
  • not all of them.
  • But we had enough lunch programs and groups and this and that
  • that the people came there.
  • And I got to know them.
  • So it's easier to be passionate about something
  • when you have a connection with the people that you're serving.
  • And I just felt so strongly that these people
  • needed a voice in a society that could so easily cast them off
  • and want them dead.
  • So it was really easy for me to get behind that
  • and stay behind that.
  • That part was easy.
  • It was never the clients that gave me heartache.
  • It was always those barriers that
  • were created to keep me from getting them what they needed,
  • which was often government.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: In your twenty years there,
  • can you identify a given moment or a given time
  • where it really dawned on you, OK,
  • I'm really fulfilling a need here,
  • or I'm really doing some good here?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I'd have to go back to the syringe exchange
  • program because, I mean, there were plenty
  • of moments like that, plenty.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Let me ask you another way.
  • When, in your twenty years, did you realize, yeah,
  • this is where I want to be, this is the work that I
  • need to be doing?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I felt it since day one.
  • It just always felt like a fit for me, always.
  • I'd had that one job that maybe that's a good thing
  • to happen in everybody's life because then you
  • know what to compare life to.
  • The people around me--
  • I mean, it was nice to be a private nonprofit where
  • I had control over the hiring so that I
  • felt like we could hire quality people,
  • and we could get out people that didn't gel with what
  • we were trying to do there.
  • And I really felt that from the very beginning.
  • The fight was in me.
  • It's kind of interesting, Evelyn, you bringing up
  • my being a woman.
  • I'm also a white heterosexual woman,
  • which didn't fit everybody's idea of who should
  • be in that leadership position.
  • And one of the first--
  • I went to actually to the victory thing
  • for Tim Mains' city council election or something downtown.
  • And a couple of women came up to me.
  • Oh, I know.
  • I had been interviewed by the Empty Closet.
  • And they had asked what my sexual orientation was,
  • and I told them.
  • And, for me, it was just something factual.
  • And I knew that people were curious about it.
  • And I knew that people we're going to be talking about it so
  • let's just get it out there.
  • It is what it is.
  • It's nothing I'm proud of.
  • It's nothing I'm ashamed of.
  • It just is.
  • And two women came up to me and said,
  • "We hear you're flaunting your heterosexuality. " I'm like,
  • OK, let the fun begin.
  • (laughter)
  • So I had to prove myself at every turn.
  • It's kind of interesting because physically I'm a small person.
  • I was very young then to be in such a position.
  • And I had to prove myself, but I have a strong personality.
  • And I think that sometimes people would initially,
  • especially--
  • I hate to say this-- but heterosexual men in power
  • would think that they could bull right over me.
  • And it was like, just wait till little chihuahua gets busy.
  • Your ass in the grass.
  • And they'd find out real quickly what they were messing with.
  • Because what I feel felt strongly and passionately
  • about something, I just went after it.
  • But back to syringe exchange for a minute--
  • when we were deciding whether to do syringe exchange or not
  • and that--
  • whew!-- really brutal political battle that that entailed,
  • I went down and visited one in the Bronx.
  • And I was just sitting there observing.
  • And there's all these people lined up.
  • And there are mothers with their strollers.
  • And they're all just--
  • they were very polite.
  • They were very grateful for what people were doing for them.
  • And I thought this is everybody's daughter
  • and son and sister and mother.
  • And these are all people of value
  • that we were just trying to give them the tools to stay alive
  • and to not make them feel like the piranhas of the world.
  • And so they kind of clinched my commitment to it.
  • And one time, when I was over at our syringe exchange program,
  • this woman came in and said, this is the only place in town
  • that anybody will look me in the eye.
  • And that just meant so much to me.
  • I mean, they were people that were loved and valued
  • by our staff and our volunteers, and they
  • don't get that anywhere else.
  • And if you expect people to change their lives around
  • or even just to have any kind of human compassion,
  • it's a no brainer for me.
  • I also sat at many bedsides.
  • And it's like, you know what?
  • All the paperwork, all the shit with the state,
  • it's worth it if I'm easing this person's transition.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: You've touched upon this a little bit,
  • but I think there's room to explore it more about how,
  • since the inception of AIDS Rochester to today's
  • modern society, how things have changed for AIDS care and AIDS
  • awareness.
  • And there's a reason why all of a sudden
  • the AIDS agencies had to merge together.
  • I know you've been out of it for three years now.
  • But--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Saw the writing on the wall.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: How did things change?
  • Yeah.
  • What was the writing on the wall?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well, as I said, initially,
  • all we could really do is help people to die.
  • And fortunately-- I mean, I wish I could convey to people--
  • you guys saw it-- what happened in the mid-nineties
  • when the medications came out.
  • I was blown away.
  • I mean, it truly was miraculous.
  • I mean, we saw people come back from the dead, clearly,
  • that are still alive today.
  • So that was awesome.
  • And medical science is only advanced, fortunately,
  • not fast enough.
  • But we continue to make gains.
  • And eventually, I think the funders have caught up
  • with that and said, all of our prevention,
  • everything really now is centered around medical,
  • not support as much.
  • I mean, that has to happen too because people
  • aren't going to get the medical unless they get the support.
  • You're not going to prevent HIV unless they're
  • getting the support.
  • But the medical just became so much more of a focus
  • and so much more of a key that we had to align ourselves
  • much closer with that.
  • And that's what was the right thing to do.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: In your twenty years at AIDS
  • Rochester, was there ever a time that the gay community became
  • unsupportive of your work, of your efforts?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I would say that the interest waned
  • a little bit.
  • And I think that was a national phenomenon.
  • It was kind of AIDS fatigue.
  • In the beginning years, we shouted,
  • and we ranted, and we had meetings,
  • and we set up services, and we sat by bedsides,
  • and we went to fundraisers.
  • And we did all of that, and it was very dramatic.
  • Actually, I think maybe around the same time
  • the medications started making people live longer,
  • helping people live longer, people were like,
  • OK, well, we're kind of done with that now.
  • And it also wasn't just a gay disease anymore.
  • It became very much a disease in minority populations and women
  • and heterosexuals, so it wasn't the gay man's gig anymore
  • solely.
  • So that and the whole fatigue, I think, just the interest waned.
  • Fund raising became a little harder.
  • But we couldn't keep going back to the same pot anyway.
  • We needed to get more sophisticated and more utilized
  • and bring in the rest of the world to our efforts.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I'm kind of out of questions actually.
  • But--
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, I still have a few, but--
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I've got a couple to wrap things up.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Can you speak to how you personally feel about--
  • we certainly have medications, but the numbers
  • aren't going down.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: No.
  • And people are still dying.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And so what would you say to a young person
  • today in the community about AIDS,
  • and how would you help them understand that they
  • don't want to get sick.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: You know, that's
  • the biggest challenge in the world
  • because youth are invincible.
  • And it doesn't matter whether it's driving a car too fast,
  • whether it's teen pregnancy, whether it's STDs,
  • or whether it's AIDS.
  • I mean, a lot of those, the same behavior
  • causes all of those, all those things that (unintelligible).
  • And that's one reason we had a big resurgence
  • in the gay population.
  • I mean, I think that we had huge numbers of gay men dying off
  • at once.
  • Most of the others learned their lesson
  • and kind of started changing their behavior.
  • We made some huge gains there.
  • But then a whole population of gay youth came up.
  • And they didn't go through that.
  • So it was harder to get the message across.
  • And it's not something that you want to live with.
  • And you may not live with it.
  • You may die of it.
  • As a matter of fact, chances are good
  • because, even if the disease isn't killing people,
  • the medications are probably maybe killing people
  • more often or as often.
  • And it's not fun to live with HIV from the side
  • effects of the disease as well as the side effects
  • of the medication.
  • And I don't know what--
  • I mean, if we had a magic bullet as to how to change behavior,
  • boy, I'd be all over it.
  • I mean, who of us has not put ourselves
  • at risk for all kinds of stuff in this life?
  • It's a tough nut to crack, but you don't want it.
  • People are still saying, look at Magic.
  • Well, Magic maybe had some lucky breaks.
  • People don't understand all the intricacies, all the science.
  • He might have had as big a dose of the virus.
  • He may not have had as virulent of strain of the virus.
  • He's obviously had the best medical care in the world.
  • He's obviously been able to be compliant with his regimen.
  • But I bet, if Magic were honest, it's not peaches and cream
  • living with this disease.
  • And it still may get him.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: So in the end, how do you keep going?
  • How do you keep working and continually
  • attempting to change the attitudes and the behavior?
  • Where do you go to find that piece, either within yourself
  • or within the community, that--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well you do it
  • on a number of different levels.
  • One is certainly person by person by person,
  • the kid you meet on Monroe Ave, the young guy in the gay bar,
  • the bathhouse, wherever.
  • One thing that's interesting about AIDS
  • is, because it's fairly new to the human services scene
  • and it was such a dramatic thing that
  • call for a drastic response, services
  • were set up and delivered differently
  • than they were with other human services.
  • So we've always been pretty good at taking our services
  • and finding the people that need them as much as possible,
  • finding those at risk--
  • truckstops, parks, wherever, streets--
  • and just person by person and making a difference.
  • I know that we've made a difference.
  • I mean, we could look like some of the countries in Africa
  • if we hadn't had that pretty strong prevention
  • efforts that we've had here.
  • But you can't let up.
  • And then the other piece of it is always
  • the advocacy at governmental and policy levels,
  • is always keeping of that and not letting us backslide.
  • God knows what will happen to AIDS where
  • Governor Romney or someone like him gets into the presidency,
  • and just the only way is to behave yourself.
  • It doesn't work.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Comparing Rochester to other cities
  • around the nation in response to the AIDS
  • crisis, what is your opinion in how we responded to it.
  • I mean, I'll leave at that.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Much more supportive
  • than I think most cities our size, especially
  • because, as I said, I was in a tight coalition with my peers
  • across upstate New York.
  • So the fact that we were a United Way member
  • agency with a good chunk of money from them
  • was highly unusual.
  • The fact that we had HPA, that we had a very strong support
  • from a very strong gay community was always very helpful to us.
  • And I would hope that our clients could feel that too,
  • that they had--
  • we always had good volunteer response also.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Any opinion as to why it was like that here
  • in Rochester.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: You know, it was funny
  • because I always hear people say that Rochester
  • is a conservative city.
  • But for a city our size, I don't necessarily agree.
  • I mean, why do we have a bigger gay population?
  • There must be some greater level of acceptance here.
  • There's certainly some pretty well-known churches
  • that have been willing to stick their neck out and do whatever
  • they needed to do to support the population
  • against some public opinion.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Who initiated, or did the AIDS sponsors have
  • any involvement in getting-- well,
  • I know involvement in getting condoms at the bars,
  • but condoms in schools?
  • Did we ever get condoms in the schools?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I don't think so.
  • I think that they're still talking about it.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, I mean, I wasn't sure of myself.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Yeah, and prisons--
  • that was another area that I think really,
  • another nut that needs to be cracked big time.
  • Another tough one--
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Since they're not supposed to be having sex.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Right.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: It's always the solution that doesn't work.
  • Just don't do it.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Let me get back to Kevin's question
  • about Rochester versus other cities similar in size,
  • other areas of the country.
  • Because you were in a statewide consortium
  • and had a vantage point of observation,
  • how did New York, for example, the state,
  • compared to Chicago, Illinois; Miami, Florida; California, San
  • Francisco, what was your perception
  • about the response to this epidemic that was ravaging?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well, as I said, New York state, I think,
  • did a decent job of pouring a good amount of money
  • into the disease initially.
  • I think California probably did too.
  • I'm not as familiar with that.
  • And the cities like New York and San Francisco, I mean,
  • they were just so out of our ballpark
  • in terms of what they were experiencing.
  • I always said I couldn't even imagine
  • doing AIDS work in a city like New York
  • because it was so out of control and because they
  • have the New York City politics which were so intense.
  • And New York City had high numbers too.
  • So it warranted the extra effort.
  • And I think our high numbers were somewhat based on the fact
  • that New York City had high numbers, and we're so close,
  • and there's so much interaction.
  • That's certainly where the first cases
  • seem to come from in this area.
  • But I do think--
  • I don't know.
  • I just feel like, for a city our size
  • anyway, that we had a much better organized gay community
  • and more activists.
  • And I think that that really, really helped.
  • And Jackie caused a lot of heartache towards the end.
  • Trust me.
  • That was another challenge of mine.
  • I had like eight lawsuits to clean up.
  • It took years.
  • But she was a colorful character.
  • And she put it out there.
  • She was out there, and she was fighting.
  • And she was loud, and she was heard.
  • And the media loved her just because she
  • was such a colorful character, I think,
  • that we got more exposure probably
  • than in a lot of towns.
  • So I think that she was the right person
  • for the job initially in that she got the word out
  • there really well.
  • She was a good grassroots activists.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Can ask this in two ways?
  • Where do you see the fight for AIDS awareness,
  • prevention, and care going from this point on?
  • Or is it a different fight?
  • Is it a different way of approaching
  • the needs that are out there?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well, I think the fact
  • that things kind of turned toward really
  • focusing on the highest risk populations
  • is really important.
  • And that needs to keep up.
  • And the fight with policy issues needs to keep up.
  • I mean, what we're saying is we need
  • to make the tools available to keep people
  • safe in any environment where people may put themselves
  • at risk, whether it's schools, whether it's prisons,
  • whether it's in parks, whatever.
  • So there's always going to be those fights.
  • And then just the ongoing fight for funding.
  • And then again, if you get conservative politicians
  • at any level, we can take five steps back overnight.
  • So we can't let down the vigilance.
  • But because we're talking about the history with the gay
  • population, I've always said, we cannot let our guard down.
  • We pay for it if we do.
  • And we keep seeing new generations of gay men come up.
  • And we cannot let history repeat itself with them.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: To sum it all up, kind of a similar question
  • as before, but what are you most proud of in what you've done?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Surviving.
  • (laughter)
  • I always said, I was a long-term survivor myself.
  • And not ending up in AA.
  • (laughter)
  • That's a delicate balance.
  • I think my advocacy overall.
  • The two things that were the toughest battles for me
  • were the housing initiative and the syringe exchange battle.
  • And I lost at one level, although that took us
  • in a new direction, which ended up
  • being a success and one at another level which
  • I think really, really helped this community.
  • But I think just always being an advocate
  • and feeling strongly for the people I was serving.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I have nothing.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: No more questions, Kevin?
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: No, I really don't.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: What's next for you?
  • Are you retired?
  • Are you--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I am.
  • I am.
  • I may have to go back to work, but it
  • would have to be go back to work because my husband starting
  • to get tired of working.
  • You know, this sounds really weird for a pretty liberal
  • feminist.
  • But I never got to be June Cleaver.
  • So I'm doing a lot of that.
  • I'm really enjoying that, just taking care of our home
  • and making my husband's life easier.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Do you have children?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: No.
  • It's kind of maybe more of a Buddhist or zen philosophy
  • but just learning to be more.
  • I mean, I lived a pretty frenzied existence
  • for those twenty years.
  • And it took its toll in some ways and really kind
  • of learning to smell the roses again and take care of myself.
  • And it feels like a very self-indulgent time of my life.
  • And I'm trying to be OK with that.
  • It's not easy.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Given all of your experiences
  • in not only counseling, executive director,
  • what would you say to women today
  • about living their lives as they are, as who they are?
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: You mean apart from HIV,
  • like as a career and going for what you
  • what you want to go for?
  • Well, you kind of said it pretty succinctly right there.
  • And actually, again, that's what I'm kind of experiencing.
  • It's like, why should I feel at all
  • guilty I want to be like a content little house wife
  • right now and support my husband in his very difficult work?
  • I shouldn't.
  • Women have struggled with that, the off-and-on thing.
  • Which is more valuable, staying at home or the kids
  • or getting out there and working?
  • And they all have value.
  • It's really a matter of being true to yourself.
  • But I also think the strength that I had to find in to myself
  • to be successful as I was in my career
  • is also another message, which is, you can do it.
  • Go for it.
  • Have confidence in yourself.
  • Dig into your heart and know what
  • the right thing is for you and the people around you
  • and go for it.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Thank you.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: I mean, I think that I was in jobs where
  • there was sexual discrimination, where
  • I felt like I was being held back because of my gender.
  • It was a bit of an all-boys game.
  • And it's really kind of fun because I
  • have run into that executive director
  • since, and he said, well, you know,
  • I kind of wish we'd promoted you.
  • I'm like, yeah, well--
  • I know.
  • (laughter)
  • So you just have to go for it.
  • Keep looking until you find it.
  • I feel so fortunate that I found my spot in life.
  • It really was the right place.
  • It was a place I would walk into work every day
  • and just feel comfortable.
  • The work itself sometimes really stressed me
  • out, but in terms of the people I was surrounded with,
  • I just felt so comfortable.
  • I mean, again, that was another positive thing,
  • if you can call it that, about AIDS that they brought together
  • such a diverse group of people that normally would not
  • have been brought together.
  • And there was little to no judgment.
  • I mean, AIDS leveled the field.
  • And it didn't matter what your gender, your age,
  • your sexual orientation, nothing, your behavior--
  • it just didn't matter.
  • And everybody that came there to help fulfill the mission
  • had to feel the same way.
  • So it was a pretty special place to be.
  • Sometimes when like a Matthew Shepard thing would happen
  • or you hear what goes on in the real world, I would be shocked.
  • And I'm ashamed to admit that.
  • But on a daily basis, I lived in a bubble.
  • And I surrounded myself socially with the same kinds
  • of people that were non-judgmental
  • and that were accepting and that were progressive.
  • And so when horrible, hateful things
  • happened based on sexual orientation with that
  • still happening, that would kind of blow me away sometimes.
  • And I don't know.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I think those of us who
  • live in this little Northeastern part of the country
  • live in a little bit of a bubble.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: You can.
  • Yeah.
  • It's funny.
  • When Paul and I went out west, and we went to Yellowstone,
  • traveled around a bit.
  • And we ended up in Laramie.
  • We went into McDonald's, and I said, "Paul,
  • they kill gay people here."
  • He goes, "Shh!"
  • (laughter)
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, in the years
  • that I have been involved with The Alliance
  • and involved the gay community, I came out in Rochester
  • in 1976-77.
  • AIDS Rochester, ACHN, or CHN as it was originally--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Actually, it was something else before that.
  • It was something else even before CHN.
  • I don't remember, but anyway they kept changing names.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: It was the clinic on South Avenue.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Yeah, I was wondering
  • if their name was different.
  • Maybe that was that.
  • OK.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: At least my perception
  • is that they have always been the pillars around which
  • the community came and really not only
  • coalesced but became unified.
  • I don't think that was separate from the leadership involved
  • in those efforts.
  • Your nonjudgmentalness, CHN's nonjudgmentalness,
  • both of you come with the same heart and the same mind.
  • And the community saw that.
  • They may, at times, have disagreed with you intensely
  • and told you, this isn't what you should be doing,
  • or you should be doing this.
  • But the effort that was made to reach out to help, to support,
  • to take care of overrode all of those disagreements.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: That would have been my personal goal.
  • So I thank you for that.
  • That means so much.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: The other thing that I
  • think the merger has done is it has solidified the separation
  • of parts of people.
  • We're not feeling here and body there.
  • We're--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: It always made sense theoretically.
  • It never was the right time until recently to actually make
  • it happen.
  • And part of that was leadership and financial condition
  • and all of that because it was talked about many, many years
  • ago too.
  • But we were just pulling ourselves out of difficulty.
  • And CHN was in difficulty, so it wouldn't
  • have been a stable ship.
  • And also, Jay and I are very, very different.
  • But he's a good businessman.
  • And he's done so much for that agency
  • in terms of stabilizing them and making sure
  • that they're going to be healthy in the future,
  • that it was a good time.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Talk to me just a little about Bill Valenti.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Bill.
  • Well, it started out with him hiring me.
  • So I'll always be grateful for that.
  • But as we tried to work together initially,
  • he had some pretty strong ideas as to how it should happen.
  • And I had different ideas.
  • So we butt heads a little bit.
  • It wasn't easy.
  • So it actually was somewhat easier as different leadership
  • came through ECHCS.
  • Of course, it depended on who-- there
  • were some great ones there.
  • But I think Bill's mellowed as he's gotten older too
  • and was more open.
  • We're good buds.
  • He has expressed his gratitude ultimately
  • that I was the one that ended up in that job and stuck it out
  • and saw all that I could see.
  • But I know that Bill has done so much.
  • Bill is such a public presence.
  • And that's been helpful in the community, his voice
  • and his expertise.
  • But I know so many people, one on one,
  • that have been helped by Bill and helped through whatever
  • they've been going through.
  • And I have a lot of respect for him.
  • One connection that we have is I mentioned our board president.
  • She was my board president at AIDS Rochester
  • and then is still board president
  • at AIDS Care, Ann Nenno who is a fascinating, fantastic person.
  • I have to say, meeting her really jumped my awareness
  • and suppressed, I think, some of my own prejudices
  • about transgendered people.
  • I made huge gains after meeting Ann.
  • I mean she's just so well grounded and just
  • the kindest person in the world and so bright.
  • She always kind of got it.
  • And she lost a brother, Craig Nenno to AIDS.
  • And I met her mother at a fundraiser.
  • And her mother is just so devoted to Bill Valenti
  • because, I think, Bill is the one that helped Craig
  • through his illness.
  • And it's just an interesting and unique family.
  • But they just adore Bill because Bill
  • did so much for their family when it was needed.
  • And now Ann's mother is a very generous donor.
  • And Ann just is always there for the agency to do anything.
  • So they're giving back in a big way.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: I know that Bill was greatly
  • affected when George Washburn--
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: John Washburn.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: --John Washburn passed.
  • His death seemed, again, to bring more visibility and more
  • understanding, and the community, again,
  • responded in an overwhelming way.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: What a brave man to be public at that time.
  • And still a lot of people aren't public.
  • Still.
  • I have a family member.
  • I mean, I think we've known about his illness--
  • I don't know-- maybe eight years or so.
  • But he lives in a rural area, very rural, not in this area,
  • in another part of the state.
  • But he was working with my brother-in-law at a physical
  • job, and--
  • I'll call him John--
  • he cut himself.
  • And he and Tim, my brother-in-law,
  • went to help him.
  • And he's like, no, no, no, you can't touch me.
  • You can't touch me.
  • You can't trust me.
  • And so then he revealed to my brother-in-law
  • that he had AIDS.
  • And so as it came out, he told the family
  • that he'd been a drug user, which Paul and I had suspected
  • differently all along.
  • Ultimately, he did come out as being gay,
  • but again, that was another example of how it was more--
  • gay men faced such a double whammy
  • because they were coming out with their sexual orientation
  • as well as their HIV to their families at the same time.
  • Oh my God!
  • I can't even imagine.
  • So John chose to hide his homosexuality.
  • It was much more acceptable to be a drug user
  • than homosexual for many years until finally he
  • relaxed with that too.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Well, thank you.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, thank you.
  • Thank you for everything you've done.
  • PAULA SILVESTRONE: Oh, thanks.
  • Thanks, you guys.
  • And what you are doing is cool.
  • EVELYN BAILEY: And don't feel guilty.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Guilty?
  • Let's have a martini.