Video Interview, Paula Silvestrone, August 2, 2012
- KEVIN INDOVINO: I am rolling.
- OK.
- Tough question.
- Correct spelling of your first and last name?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: P-A-U-L-A S-I-L-V-E-S-T-R-O-N-E.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: And when we title you,
- do we want to title you Former Executive Director AIDS
- Rochester?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: That's fine, yeah.
- Or you could even put retired.
- Either one, doesn't matter.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: So Paula, just to refresh my memory,
- what year did you become executive director?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: I started in 1989.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: If you could, just kind
- of start out talking to me about how you got
- involved with AIDS Rochester.
- And, you know, where were they at as far as an organization
- at that particular time period?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: I had always had a leaning
- toward edgy causes, if you will.
- I had a number of gay friends.
- I had done theater work and had a lot of exposure
- to others in the gay community.
- And so when AIDS came on the scene
- and impacted our gay community so tremendously,
- I was director of another nonprofit in town.
- Wasn't thrilled with that relationship.
- And so I was kind of figuring out what my next step in life
- would be.
- And I said to myself, if I could have any job I wanted and--
- assuming I'm still going to direct a nonprofit agency--
- there are two agencies in town that I'm interested in.
- One was Planned Parenthood and one was AIDS Rochester.
- And Planned Parenthood had just gotten a new executive director
- and Jackie Nudd was at AIDS Rochester
- and had been there for years and really was
- known as AIDS Rochester.
- So I was assuming she wasn't going anywhere.
- And then all of a sudden the agency was in an upheaval
- and Jackie was gone and there was an opening.
- Well, like many AIDS agencies at that time,
- they had started out very grassroots
- and then they grew very, very quickly.
- The money was coming from New York State and the feds
- pretty quickly.
- And they grew into small businesses, at least
- that's the way they needed to be administered.
- And it grew beyond the current administration's capacity
- to run a business.
- So-- but the people that had started the organizations
- and had run it in a grassroots manner
- really had their hearts and souls invested in the agency.
- So they often didn't go quietly.
- And AIDS Rochester was one of many agencies
- that went through a huge upheaval
- when their founding director needed to go.
- And so at first I was like, I don't
- know if I want to touch that with a ten foot pole.
- I mean, board members were acting inappropriately.
- Staff were acting inappropriately.
- Volunteers and clients were really up in an upheaval.
- There-- they were in a deficit.
- There were several lawsuits as a result of the transition
- and I wasn't sure I wanted to jump into their frying pan.
- But I decided to explore it like, four
- months after the job was open.
- And I was interviewed by Hazel Jeffries and Bill Valenti.
- And it went well and they offered me the position.
- And I thought long and hard.
- I knew it was my dream and I went back to them and said,
- I'll give it a year of my life.
- My heart and soul, I'll do everything
- I can to take this organization where it needs to go.
- If I can't turn it around, that's
- all I'm committing to at this point.
- But I need you to back me and embrace the change that's
- coming and basically stay out of my way if I'm doing good stuff.
- And they agreed.
- It appeared that's what they were looking for
- and that they knew that that's what the agency needed.
- So I, at that point, had a third of the staff in place.
- A third had walked out when Jackie was terminated.
- A third got fired the next day for acting out.
- It was a mess.
- So I had many spots to fill and the most important one
- being my associate director.
- So-- who, at the time, I think we called that position
- a program director.
- We weren't even big enough for me to have an associate.
- Looked at many people locally and then--
- almost by fate I would say-- got hooked up
- with a man who had been on the board of directors
- at our Binghamton pier agency.
- He was also a nurse manager of the ICU and CCU
- unit at Cortland Hospital.
- So I asked him to come on an interview with me.
- And it ended up being-- and I think he interviewed me
- as much as I interviewed him.
- And it ended up being a perfect marriage for us
- and Michael Beatty is still with AIDS care today.
- He was-- we worked alongside each other for twenty years
- and I don't think either of us could
- have done it without the other.
- It was a perfect match.
- Michael is a gay man and he was very
- helpful in developing some of our programs
- that targeted that population specifically.
- And we just worked really, really hard initially
- to put policies in place, to get the agency on stable footing,
- to get some mature professionals on staff,
- and it just took off from there.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: So I'm going to back up a little bit.
- I don't want to kind of rush through all of that.
- You step into the role of executive director.
- And in your mind, your first initiative
- to really put a foundation back into this organization
- was what?
- And what was your first thought?
- Share with your thought process of OK,
- this is what I need to do get this--
- not only to get the organization back on track,
- but this is what I need to do to really make a difference.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well I knew nothing else
- could happen without funding.
- If we were going to close our doors,
- it would all be a moot point.
- So I knew that stabilizing our funding
- and balancing our budget was key.
- I also think it was key to professionalize
- the whole place, from board members understanding
- their roles and not overstepping their bounds to clients
- understanding their roles and not overstepping
- their bounds to putting policies and procedures in place
- for staff.
- That was key because there were a lot of bad habits
- that had been developed in--
- when the agency was more grassroots.
- And it's where a lot of the chaos emerged from.
- And I thought, we're not going to do any justice
- to this community and to our clients
- that we're going to serve until we have our act together.
- So right around that time or shortly there
- after that, was it TQM became very popular
- and people talked about, who is your customer?
- And for me, I always viewed my staff as my customers.
- Because if I had competent and professional and caring,
- compassionate staff, that's what I think
- was going to have the most impact on the community.
- And I think it worked out well.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: I'm going to draw you
- back even a little further because you
- touched upon something that I don't
- want to, again, rush over.
- When you were thinking about what your dream job would be,
- you chose Planned Parenthood or AIDS Rochester
- as two of your choices.
- Even before the Jackie Nudd stuff,
- was it about AIDS Rochester that spoke to you?
- That said, that's a place that I think I
- might want to be involved with?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: It was serving
- a disenfranchised population.
- A population that our mainstream society had not--
- and to a great extent, even still does not-- embrace.
- I mean, we're still having to boycott chicken places
- for God's sakes, you know?
- I wanted to work on behalf of people
- that needed a strong voice and needed strong programs
- and services.
- And there was certainly nothing more compelling
- than trying to save lives of people in their prime.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: In context of this size city
- that Rochester is, not a big city.
- What do you think it says about us to have
- such a powerful advocate--
- or advocacy organization like AIDS Rochester?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: AIDS Rochester
- was one piece of the puzzle.
- We also had Community Health Network.
- We had the Gay Alliance.
- We had Helping People with AIDS.
- I mean I--
- I think initially-- kind of took for granted that--
- what we had.
- But when I got to know other AIDS services across the state
- and even across the nation, I realized how unique we were
- and how much support we had.
- We even had support from the United Way.
- There's nothing more white bread and mainstream than that.
- So we really do have a very special community here.
- And you keep hearing that, for a city our size,
- it's a great place for gay people to live.
- And that-- that made it much easier to do the work
- I needed to do.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: You were twenty years, right?
- At AIDS Rochester?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Yes.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Over that course of time--
- this is a loaded question--
- how have you seen our response to AIDS change
- over those course of years?
- And how is-- how did AIDS Rochester change along the way?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well initially, there was a very--
- very much of an activist mentality.
- ACT UP was very active.
- Not as much in our town, but you know, in AIDS work in general.
- And we had to do some screaming and shouting.
- I mean, we were living through the Reagan years
- and this disease was not being adequately addressed.
- People were dying in droves.
- It was horrific.
- It was really a nightmare.
- And all we could do then, really,
- was educate people with the little
- that we knew about the disease and hold people's hands
- and take care of their pets while they died.
- Thank goodness that changed pretty quickly.
- I mean, within six years from the time I started there,
- the antiretrovirals came on the scene
- and we literally saw people come back from the brink of death.
- It was a miracle to behold.
- So a couple things happened.
- We had really focused on prevention.
- Now we needed to shift our focus more
- to getting treatment and keeping people on treatment.
- Because, especially in the early days, there wasn't--
- and it's still not an easy way to live
- with multiple medications that themselves
- can make you feel really ill.
- Having to take them in the middle of the night,
- keep them in the refrigerator.
- It was a very complex regimen, but lifesaving.
- It was also key to keep people on those medications because--
- and still is-- if they would stop them for a while,
- the virus could become resistant to those medications.
- And people can actually pass on resistant strains of the virus.
- So that became part of our prevention efforts also.
- And we weren't focused as much on people dying.
- We were focused on, let's help people plan for the future.
- It was an amazing and fantastic turnaround.
- But one of the problems is then, people became lackadaisical
- about the need to support the agency, the need
- to keep themselves healthy.
- You know, Magic Johnson, I champion him
- for coming out and sharing with the world
- that, especially a heterosexual man gets this too.
- But to this day, I hear people say, well, there's a cure.
- Look at Magic Johnson.
- He's fine.
- And you go, oh.
- You know, one step forward and two steps back.
- We still-- people are still dying of this disease.
- It's a horrible disease to live with.
- They can still spread it.
- If we're not vigilant, we're going
- to end up looking like some of those countries in Africa.
- So we've got to keep up the fight.
- But it's harder because people don't--
- you don't walk down the street and go, oh,
- you can tell he has AIDS.
- You don't see that anymore.
- It was very clear then.
- It was very hard for people that were sick because it was
- like they had a sign on them.
- You know, they looked very sick.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: So at your years at the agency,
- what would you say was maybe the biggest challenge overall?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: The politics.
- Primarily, there became a lot of issues around racial politics.
- As AIDS started to decimate the minority communities
- and money was following those communities
- and money was tightening up at the same time,
- there became very much a fight over who
- should get that money, who can serve that population best.
- So it became very political, the fact that I was white,
- my administration was primarily non-minority.
- It was difficult to hang on and to draw new money sometimes
- during those years because we weren't considered
- a minority-based agency even though we were
- serving 600 minorities a year.
- Far, far, far more than any other agency in town.
- And well served.
- Those clients wanted to come to us.
- They had choices.
- So-- and the bureaucracy that goes with the funding,
- with New York state especially, just really
- kind of wore me down.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: So the flip side of that
- is, what do you think has been the greatest
- achievement and the greatest impact that the agency has had?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Boy, there's so many levels.
- But certainly, having our clients feel
- cared for, having a place where they
- would walk in and feel hope and compassion and respect.
- Often people that hadn't really experienced much
- of that in their adult lives.
- On the prevention end, I think that we were cutting edge
- in terms of being very aggressive
- with the gay community.
- One of our challenges was, as money--
- New York State and other funders shifted
- money to the minority communities,
- was hanging on to our programs that
- reached out to the gay population as a whole.
- And saying, don't forget.
- They're still getting it.
- They're still dying.
- We need to keep up our vigilance of gay men
- or we're going to backslide.
- And indeed, I think that that started happening.
- So we had to really do a lot of advocacy work on that end
- and fight for that.
- I think that our housing program was unique
- and our syringe exchange program was definitely unique.
- It took a lot to get that going.
- The politics around that were unbelievable.
- But it's probably the thing I'm proudest of because it
- was the most concrete lifesaving program we had, and have.
- So I was very proud.
- And it was a tough battle.
- It was really tough.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Let's back up, then and pick up on that story.
- Start from the beginning to the end for me.
- You know, I remember when we started our syringe exchange
- program.
- You know, it start if off that way and just tell me the story.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: OK.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: There were a lot of challenges there,
- but there was also a lot of success there.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Sure.
- There was a group in town of high level people
- from all different walks--
- corporations, politics-- that had been pulled together--
- I wish I could remember the name of it--
- has been pulled together to address substance
- abuse in our community.
- And some people from that group actually came to us
- and said, what do you think of getting a syringe exchange
- program going in Rochester.
- I think that's another example of how
- progressive this community can be.
- To back up for a second, we used to do position statements
- on issues that were controversial so
- that we could speak to the public with one voice.
- And one of them that we had recently done
- was, where do we stand on syringe exchange.
- And we were for it.
- So we were already mentally there.
- So when these two people came to us,
- we said, well let's explore this some.
- We started to talk to some big movers and shakers in town,
- including, actually, Tom Golisano,
- who sat on the substance abuse coalition.
- And after he heard what we had to say about the benefits--
- and fortunately, in New Haven, Connecticut in conjunction with
- Yale, they had already had--
- I think it might have been the first syringe
- exchange in the country.
- And had some research data to prove that it was working.
- So that was so helpful to us to have
- that data to be able to go to people
- and say it's been proven.
- It works.
- And when we gave the facts, Tom Golisano said, sounds good.
- I'll support it.
- So when you have someone with a name like that in our community
- that comes out for it, it really broke the ice
- and broke the ground.
- But it became a very political issue.
- You know, somewhat very Republican and Democratic
- and there were some very interesting debates about it.
- At one point, on the front page--
- well actually, we weren't ready to announce
- that we-- we weren't ready yet to say we're going to do this.
- We were still exploring it.
- And all of a sudden, the front page
- has a picture of Howard Relin, who was the current DA in town,
- and myself.
- Looked like we were squaring off, saying,
- AIDS Rochester is going to implement a syringe exchange
- program in Rochester.
- And I'm like, whoa, OK.
- It's time to come out of the closet.
- It's time to get to work on this.
- But you had to go through unbelievable machinations
- to actually make this happen and get approved in New York state
- because there still was a law in New York state
- that said possession of a syringe is illegal.
- So we had to get special approval, which
- meant full community education and trying
- to get as many people on board as possible.
- And it was a very interesting process
- to see who came out in our favor and who came out against.
- I have kind of a side story, a personal side story.
- One of the people that chose to speak out, be--
- kind of a front person speaking out against syringe exchange
- was Judge Ken Fisher, I believe was his name.
- And a number of years after that,
- I was called for jury duty.
- And I'm sitting on the panel waiting to be interviewed
- and it was a substance abuse case or a drug case.
- And the judge said, is there anybody
- on the jury that feels like they might not
- be able to deal with this in an unbiased way?
- And I raised my hand, being the troublemaker I am.
- He said, yeah, what's your problem.
- Well, I have some strong feelings about--
- that actually, I think drugs should be legalized,
- which was not a part of my work mantra.
- That was a separate issue.
- But it was my personal feeling.
- And he looked up and I said, and I run a syringe exchange
- program for AIDS Rochester.
- And he's like, you could see the light go off.
- He's like, oh yeah, I remember you.
- You're excused.
- But anyway, we fought very, very hard.
- We went into neighborhoods.
- We went to churches.
- We did neighborhood meetings.
- We went to politicians and huge applications and procedures
- and so forth that needed to be put in place.
- And we were the first program outside of New York City
- to be approved.
- And it's been amazing.
- Not easy, it's obviously not an easy population to be served.
- You know, you've got to be in tough neighborhoods.
- You put your staff and volunteers at risk.
- But it's a lifesaver.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Talk to me about--
- because a lot of what you talk about
- is community, community, community.
- One of the successes of AIDS Rochester
- is that you didn't just sit in an isolated building.
- You know, administered.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Right.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: You were out there.
- Talk to me about being out there.
- What was it like being out there?
- What was it like reaching the people
- that you needed to reach?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well one of the unique things
- about working in the AIDS field is,
- it was a very new human service.
- I mean for years, we've been serving people
- with heart disease or kidney disease
- or developmental disabilities.
- AIDS was brand new.
- So we had an opportunity to start new and not
- be kind of held back by all this tradition.
- It was such a dramatic situation we were in in terms
- of trying to save young lives.
- We knew we had to do something different.
- We knew we had to think outside the box.
- I do attribute some early people on my staff and volunteers
- who had an activist mentality.
- And that's one thing too that was
- neat about working in the field, is
- it really did attract people that had strong will
- to make a difference.
- Toni Obermeyer was one of the people I remember.
- She was an outreach worker and she
- had had a history on the streets herself.
- And that made us unique too, is that we
- were looking for people that had been in prison, that
- had been drug addicts, that had been prostitutes, that
- knew the people at risk and knew what the behavior was
- and what we needed to do to change that.
- So she'd take her group out on the streets with condoms
- and-- at the time-- bleach kits, which
- was the way we asked people to keep their syringes clean.
- And they got known.
- They got known as people--
- you know, it's hard initially.
- They are always afraid that you're cops or something.
- And you have to develop trust in those neighborhoods.
- But there is nothing like getting
- right to the root of what you're trying to do.
- Whether it's going to truck stops
- to engage men who are having sex with men,
- going to parks, obviously bars, places
- where women are working the streets at night.
- It was an edgy job.
- And I'm the type of person that thrived on that.
- I mean, I wanted to be out there as much as possible.
- And one of the things that really--
- I was already sold on syringe exchange,
- but one of the things that really clinched the deal for me
- was, before we set up our own program,
- I went down to the Bronx and I observed their program.
- And there were all these people lined up
- waiting to get their syringes.
- And they were pushing baby carriages
- and they were every demographic.
- And I just thought, these are all somebody's mothers,
- somebody's sons, somebody's aunt, somebody's brother.
- They're just trying to make it through life themselves
- and they're doing something that's healthy for them
- by being here.
- And I can't imagine anything more
- valuable than to make that accessible to people
- that needed it.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: You know what?
- I want to talk a little bit more about being involved
- with the community, but not so much outreaching
- into communities of people who need your service,
- but I think part of--
- again, that made AIDS Rochester a success was because you
- didn't work in a vacuum.
- That you worked very closely with HPA and CHN an hospitals
- and whatnot so that we were bringing,
- really, a very comprehensive approach to AIDS
- care, AIDS awareness, end of life issues,
- all of that kind of stuff.
- I just threw a lot at you, but just
- kind of putting-- talk to me about the importance of being
- able to work with all the other community agencies out there
- and how that really made Rochester really
- at the forefront of how we dealt with the AIDS crisis.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: You know, in terms
- of the way Rochester works so collaboratively,
- I'm not sure what came first, the chicken or the egg.
- Whether it's always kind of been there,
- because when I came into AIDS work, I almost took it for
- granted because that's the only thing that makes sense to me.
- It wasn't like I had to--
- like I met any resistance with that.
- I mean, there already was something
- called the Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS
- in place, which was very helpful.
- And again, I was shocked that other communities
- didn't have that.
- So again, we were unique.
- The fact that HPA actually was born around the same time
- and Community Health Network.
- The fact that we had a freestanding HIV
- clinic for a city our size was unheard of.
- And Dr. Bill Valenti, who was clearly
- such a wonderful activist and spokesman himself on the issue.
- We had all of that.
- We have such rich resources here and we had such good leadership
- that we had to do was link up and maximize that.
- Strong gay alliance, and again, to have
- an organized and supportive gay community is invaluable.
- I mean, some of the politics of the gay community
- can be tricky too, to be honest.
- The gay members of the gay community and those close
- to them can be hard on each other
- as I'm sure you well know.
- And there were challenges there sometimes.
- But I always kept in the back of my head
- why I was there and said, do what's right.
- And my path always became clear.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: I'll just throw some names out at you.
- People that you either had to work with or associate with.
- You've mentioned one already, Dr. Bill Valenti.
- Talk to me about working with him.
- What kind of guy was he like to work with
- and what contributions do you--
- from your point of view-- think that he
- made for this community?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well Bill obviously had a passion.
- Saw-- had a vision and made it happen.
- That's not an easy thing to do, especially in terms
- of developing a medical clinic.
- Bill's a feisty guy, you know.
- And that's what it took to get the job done.
- It didn't always make working with him easy and he'd
- be the first one to say.
- We didn't always have that hug hug kiss kiss relationship,
- you know.
- Because we were always--
- we both had a goal to work as collaboratively as possible
- for the benefit of our clients.
- But sometimes we had different visions
- about how that would go.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: I want to just follow up
- a little bit with that.
- I want to ask you, what was it about Bill--
- and you touched upon it a little bit
- here-- but what was it about Bill
- that you knew that, yeah, that's definitely the right guy
- to be in that place?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Bill was willing to stick his neck out
- to bend the rules in order to accomplish what needed
- to be done to save lives.
- Most docs won't do that.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Jeff Kost.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Oh, Jeff.
- Jeffrey had been working--
- I think in a management type capacity--
- at his father's store, the Parkleigh, which
- is famous in this community.
- Jeff is very involved in the gay community.
- Didn't really have fundraising experience.
- Maybe some on a volunteer level would probably
- start doing some stuff with HPA.
- But I was looking for a fundraiser.
- And I interviewed Jeff and it just felt like a perfect match.
- And it was.
- I wish I had Jeffrey.
- I wish we still had Jeffrey.
- He-- I don't know anybody that didn't love Jeffrey.
- And yet, he wasn't the kind of person that was really pushy,
- but he still--
- I don't think anybody could say no to him.
- Jeff had the idea to develop and implement the first AIDS
- walk in this community.
- And I'm like, all right, OK, whatever Jeff.
- We'll try it.
- And the first year, I think we set
- a goal of bringing in $7,000.
- And it was closer to seventy.
- The response was beyond our dreams.
- And it just grew from there.
- So Jeffrey showed what he was made off right then and there.
- And he was a great asset to this community, the gay community,
- the AIDS community.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Let's talk about that a little bit more,
- about the first AIDS walk.
- Talk to me about taking on, which
- could have been a really overwhelming project,
- selling it to the community, and then having it really take off.
- Talk to me about, from what you witnessed, and really, again,
- what does it say about a community like Rochester?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well the fact that our first year--
- the response-- especially from the gay community--
- was beyond our wildest dreams, just
- again reinforced to me what a special place we have.
- I mean, Jeffrey did a fantastic job of organizing and marketing
- it, but it also said, oh my God, Rochester really
- wants to rally.
- They really want to do what they can to support this cause.
- And again, it was very much--
- I think-- the gay community coming together.
- I mean, both the AIDS walk and--
- I think-- HPA's Dining for Dollars
- were opportunities for the gay community
- to come together and have a fantastic social event
- as well as honor and support their friends and loved ones.
- And it was so badly needed and they stepped up to the plate.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: So Talk to me about what you personally
- experienced when you were there for that first day,
- the first walk.
- You saw thousands of people.
- Share with me personally what you were feeling.
- What were you experiencing on that day?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Well I'm a pretty tough cookie
- on the outside.
- But there are those times in my career when I just
- became overwhelmed and the tears would start coming,
- both for what we'd lost and for this beautiful thing
- that was coming together to prevent it from continuing.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: What-- again, from a personal point view--
- what are you most proud of?
- When history looks back at you and says,
- oh yeah, Paula Silvestrone.
- She did that.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: In more general terms,
- I'm proud that I gave my heart to something so important.
- That I endured through some tough times.
- But I think that the two programs I was most proud of
- were our progressive gay outreach and our syringe
- exchange programs.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: This is a tough question.
- But over the course of those years--
- and particularly where you are now--
- how did it change you?
- Did it change you?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: I-- every day--
- am grateful for my health.
- Even when I have health challenges,
- it helps me put it in perspective.
- It did give me a tougher skin.
- I needed it to develop that to get
- through twenty years of dealing with New York state, if nothing
- else, and burying a lot of people
- that I came to be fond of.
- I came to understand how something so horrific
- could also create something so beautiful, which
- is the unity of a very special group of people composed
- primarily by the gay community.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: I'm just trying to think of any other people
- that might be worth mentioning.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Tony.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, that was the name that came up.
- I was trying to think, was he still
- in line for when you took over?
- I guess he was.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- He's my vice president.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Talk to me about Tony Greene.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Oh, Tony.
- Talk about a challenge.
- And I think everybody probably starts out
- talking about Tony that way, but then you
- end up just loving him.
- The first time I met Tony was before I applied for the job.
- But it was open.
- And I had gone to a fundraiser for Tim Mains, actually.
- And Tim introduced me to Tony and said he
- was on AIDS Rochester's board.
- And he told Tony that I was thinking
- of applying for the job.
- And Tony looked down his nose and said to me, stand in line.
- I'm like, oh, this is great.
- Nice to meet you too.
- And then my very first board meeting, Tony tested me.
- It was something over to--
- something having to do with condoms in a particular gay bar
- or something.
- And I'm like, I need to get my feet wet
- and figure out where our priorities need to be.
- And he just kept pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing
- it.
- So I'm like, all right.
- We're going to have a little bit of this going on, Tony and I.
- But as we got to know each other--
- and again, both realized we working toward the same end--
- and got to respect each other as very
- strong, intelligent people, we just fell in love, you know.
- And Tony said if he were a heterosexual man,
- he'd marry me.
- That was the best endorsement that I could ever think of.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: Did AIDS Rochester ever
- get into the issue of condoms in schools
- or was that more of a (unintelligible)?
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Some, but it was a tough nut
- to crack at that point.
- Yeah, didn't get anywhere with that.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: I don't have anything else.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: OK.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: I think that's about it.
- Thank you.
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: Thank you.
- KEVIN INDOVINO: All right, well thank you for coming in.
- (side conversation)
- PAULA SILVESTRONE: It's like leaving a gas
- station with the pump still in your car.
- Thanks.