Video Interview, Tim Tompkins, November 30, 2012

  • KEVIN INDOVINO: We're rolling.
  • CREW: I don't know.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: OK, Tim, we're just going to kind of go along.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Sure.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Shoot at the head here.
  • Because I heard initial interview with you
  • was like a long time ago.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: No, all right.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I'm trying to remember
  • what we've talked about.
  • If I seem to remember, you started coming out
  • like it was in the 1970s?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Yes, my junior year college.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: OK, can you just very briefly
  • talk to me a little bit about what gay life was
  • like back in the '70s.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, for me, it was very difficult.
  • My father was a man's man type of guy, carpenter contractor
  • type, a real leader.
  • And I was his number one child, his oldest son.
  • And it was a real struggle for me
  • to be able to come home and say to my parents, especially
  • my dad, that I was gay.
  • So when I did finally come home to do that,
  • I was kind of a nervous wreck.
  • And my mother sensed immediately something was wrong.
  • And she had been working in a mental health
  • center at the time.
  • And Dr. Susan Hanson, who is still a friend of mine today,
  • in fact, I'm going to see her Saturday
  • night on a social basis, did a favor
  • and saw me for three hours that Saturday morning.
  • I came home that Friday.
  • And I met with her from 8:00 to 11:00 AM.
  • And I just remember her saying this.
  • She said, you know, you're already doing great.
  • You know, I'm the Student Development chairman
  • and I was a straight-A student.
  • And she said, you're already doing great.
  • Your whole life has been accomplishment.
  • You're only 23.
  • She said, what do you care if anyone realizes you're gay?
  • And you know, I just thought about that statement.
  • And the influence, she could pound on some.
  • She was a very good psychiatrist.
  • So to be honest with you, I left her office,
  • I went home, I told my parents.
  • And they were fairly accepting.
  • A couple of times my father said, well, are you sure?
  • But months later, he said, you're my son,
  • I love you no matter what you are.
  • And I never had a problem after that, ever.
  • And you know what?
  • To be honest with you, after that meeting with her,
  • I never really felt bad about being gay again.
  • But from the age 7 or 8, when I realized I was gay, to 23,
  • it was always in the back of my mind--
  • what would people really think of me?
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: So what-- you did come to terms with it.
  • Where was the social scene?
  • How were you meeting other gay people?
  • What was available back than?
  • Because this isn't like what we have available now.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: All right, yeah.
  • It's a whole different world.
  • Bars.
  • Country thing-- I've really never
  • been a bathhouse type or an adult bookstore type.
  • So I would go out and socialize at the bars.
  • And that's how I met people.
  • And it didn't take me long.
  • I realized that was going to be a part of my life.
  • So I probably made a conscious decision because of that,
  • opened up a gay dance club.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Can you talk to me
  • a little bit in terms of just kind of expanding
  • on what we just said, about really,
  • those were the only options--
  • unless you went to some seedy underground place
  • or something--
  • of even finding a gay community out there.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Yeah, and even that wasn't easy at times.
  • I think it was very limited, obviously.
  • I mean, these kids today enjoy complete freedom.
  • And on the street dance club now really, gay kids
  • come and dance at the street dance club.
  • No one really hassles them, and they're comfortable.
  • It's a wonderful thing to see.
  • And now people can meet each other on the internet.
  • It's really all completely transformed.
  • But you are primarily going to go out
  • to a bar in the '70s or '80s or that time period.
  • But you know, it's kind of fun, to be honest with you,
  • when you finally got there.
  • You had all this pent up demand.
  • You might've fooled around a couple of times
  • you were there, for most of my age group, I think.
  • But by the time you were at college or right
  • after, you were ready to take your life into your own.
  • And that's what you did, for most of us, I think.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Well, at some point, interestingly enough,
  • you ended up owning a bathhouse.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Yep.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Talk to me a little bit about that.
  • And again, I also want to get that sense
  • of a place like the bathhouse.
  • At that particular time, it was one of the only places
  • that you could go to be gay.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Exactly.
  • So how did I end up owning the bathhouse?
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, just talk to me about your experience
  • with coming to own the bathhouse.
  • But again, what did the bathhouse represent back
  • in those years?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, clearly back then, that was just
  • another safe outlet for people.
  • Some people didn't want to drink.
  • And some people didn't want to beat around
  • the bush over the dance floor over at the bar.
  • And they just wanted to go meet people.
  • And the bathhouse performed, I think,
  • an important role, quite frankly.
  • I mean, even within the gay community,
  • there's a certain amount of prejudice against bathhouses
  • still today.
  • But you know, they're all over the world.
  • To some of those people I say, get over it.
  • [LAUGHS]
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: We touched upon something
  • about it playing important role.
  • Talk to me about that.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, again, it was just so limited
  • what you could do.
  • Maybe you would meet some common friends somehow
  • and have dinner parties at your home, or go out to a bar.
  • Or there was the bathhouse.
  • And with a bathhouse, you never know who you might meet there.
  • In a gay bar, you probably met usually gay people.
  • But in a bathhouse, you could meet bisexual people or people
  • that hadn't come out of the closet.
  • So there is, I think, a special attraction for some people
  • to definitely go to bathhouses.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: At some point, particularly here in Rochester,
  • they almost came to the point where there
  • was a gay bar on every corner.
  • There was a lot of these when I came out in the '80s.
  • Gay bars were everywhere.
  • And you were very much involved in that.
  • So talk to me about that.
  • Talk to me about all of sudden we just kind of
  • exploded out on the scene for a moment.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, keep in mind, back then,
  • the baby boomers were out and about.
  • So when I was 24 and 25, there's three times as many of us
  • as there is this generation of 24-year-olds.
  • It was a fun time in sense of that.
  • And there was lots of people out there.
  • So at that point, the town could definitely support seven bars.
  • And I think it did for a long time.
  • I mean, this town especially.
  • At one point, we were in the top five per capita for gays
  • in America, I remember that.
  • Before, I think, a massive migration
  • to bigger cities and a lot of young gay people spurts.
  • So there was a lot to choose from in terms of that.
  • But it's a different market now.
  • I mean, Forbes put on their extinct business list--
  • I think, three years ago, cover of Forbes.
  • One of the top 10 businesses to be extinct would be gay bars.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Right, yeah.
  • It's interesting that there was a role there,
  • again, that, I think, in that time period,
  • gay bars played for the gay community.
  • They were no longer the secret underground place
  • that you'd want to meet up with somebody.
  • But they actually became part of the social scene
  • and became part of the gay activism.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Absolutely.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Talk to me about that transition.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, I can remember
  • when I had The Liberty.
  • It was just my first nightclub, and it was a gay men's club
  • predominantly.
  • We had the first fundraiser for 10 millions at The Liberty.
  • I can remember Sue Cowell and I bringing up
  • Tim Sweeney from New York City to talk
  • about some new, strange disease.
  • This was even before it was called
  • GRID, let alone HIV and AIDS.
  • Just some strange disease out there.
  • Tim Sweeney later became president of Gay Men's Health
  • Crisis in New York City.
  • So he came up.
  • And I can remember just spreading the word.
  • You know, anyone to pop at the gay club.
  • And we probably had 100 people show up.
  • I might have given free drinks to help entice him there too,
  • I don't remember.
  • But there was a lot of people that turned out.
  • And I remember the look on their faces.
  • Like, well, this sounds scary.
  • Little did we all know what it would turn out
  • to be what it did at that meeting.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: But that, again, was the first time
  • that a gay bar was stepping up to become
  • a proponent for a cause.
  • I lost my question there.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, I think you're talking
  • in terms of activism and bars.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Right, exactly, the bars.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: It was an easy place
  • to mobilize people, and get them energized,
  • and educate them about the topic.
  • So we had some meetings with the Gay Alliance
  • and then, eventually, AIDS groups when
  • it was obvious it was a crisis.
  • So yeah, it played a very important role, particularly
  • in this town.
  • A few of us really got involved in politics too.
  • So it was interesting how it all worked out.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: We're going to move in that a little later.
  • But there was, from other bar owners that we talked to,
  • there was also this camaraderie between all the bar
  • owners about their development.
  • Because it could have been so easy for you
  • guys to be in competition with each other.
  • But yet you all, actually, kind of came together
  • as part of this community.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I think for the most part, that's true.
  • I mean, unfortunately, my place, The Liberty,
  • put Jim's out of business.
  • And there were some people sad about that.
  • And I would say too, Jim's was my first gay dance
  • club I went to.
  • And I didn't intend putting him out of business.
  • But that is the competitive laws of economics works.
  • And they just said the hell with it and closed it.
  • But after that, I'd think, for the most part,
  • we all get along.
  • I did some remodeling as a general contractor
  • with Bob Lambo and Gary Sweet.
  • They owned the Ebony Pub building.
  • And Jesse Brulo who owned Friar's.
  • And I would say it is probably my only gay mentor in life.
  • And he's an astute businessman.
  • So we did get along.
  • And Jesse sensed that I would probably go into business.
  • And even before I thought of The Liberty,
  • he said, let's you and I open one together.
  • It's kind of funny how that worked out away.
  • But the poor guy was the first person
  • I really knew to die of AIDS, unfortunately.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Because you just mentioned something there,
  • and there was a question I was going to ask you before, again,
  • just kind of being out on the scene, before you
  • were a bathhouse owner, before you were a bar owner, some
  • of the places that you went to.
  • You talked about Jim's.
  • Talk to me about Jim's.
  • What was Jim's like?
  • Describe it for me as if I've never heard of Jim's before.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, if you have all this pent up demand
  • and you are used to hanging around your straight friends
  • at college, or coming home on weekends
  • and seeing your high school friends, to go to Jim's was
  • a thrill and amazing.
  • All of a sudden, you see all these guys that
  • are there to meet other guys.
  • I can remember coming home on weekends
  • and meeting my high school friends,
  • but then looking at my watch thing--
  • it's time to go to Jim's or Friar's and have
  • a real good time.
  • Not that I didn't enjoy my straight friends.
  • But I was ready to make the gay life happen, for sure.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: So you became very well known as a business
  • owner, bar owner and all that.
  • And then you just said AIDS hit, HIV and AIDS hit.
  • Talk to me about the first time that you really
  • heard about this.
  • You mentioned the topic that you did at The Liberty.
  • But talk to me about when you finally realized that, oh,
  • my god, this is something that's going to do-
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, I'll go back to Jesse Bulo from Friar's.
  • He was the first person I really knew well.
  • i can remember the phone call.
  • He called me up and he said, why me?
  • And I believe, at first, we didn't have the acronym HIV
  • or AIDS when Jesse got sick.
  • And I can just remember crying to me
  • on the phone, how horrible this was.
  • And there were no answers.
  • And then I recommended another doctor, I remember,
  • on the phone.
  • But he was too early, too soon and never got
  • even the initial medicines which are now noteworthy.
  • But did save some people to another point in life
  • to get on the better medicines.
  • But poor Jesse died.
  • And he suffered greatly.
  • And I think those us who knew him suffered as well.
  • But then it just started to catapult.
  • You know, I am at the gay bar and the spa.
  • And I was popular, I had a lot of gay friends obviously.
  • And it's just one person after another started to get sick.
  • It's not like we'd say, oh, I am HIV positive.
  • These people got sick before we even
  • knew you could get sick from what's called unsafe sex now.
  • So almost certainly, it really just transformed
  • your existence.
  • It was a frightening time, to say the least, I think.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: And the climate at the bars changed too.
  • Talk to me a little bit about all that.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I think the bars maintained themselves
  • in terms of business, and activism,
  • and people coming out.
  • Certainly the spas.
  • I can remember these two guys wanted
  • to take out a third partner at the Rochester Spa.
  • And I can remember buying it and buying into it.
  • And the next week or so, Newsweek
  • had that article about Jack Campbell, who owned the Club
  • Baths chain, and--
  • what was her name--
  • Anita, the orange shoes.
  • Yeah, Anita Bryant.
  • They were on the cover, going at it,
  • sparring together on national TV.
  • And I thought, well, that was a very smart business decision
  • to buy this business right now.
  • And in fact, that business went right down.
  • It dropped in half.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: But at some point,
  • you could easily just walk away from businesses.
  • But you didn't.
  • You actually became very active in AIDS awareness
  • and AIDS activism.
  • What was it that sparked that for you
  • that you made the decision to say,
  • you know what, there's more that I can do here.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, it was just feeling
  • sorry for friends, employees, former employees, customers.
  • It's just hard to see people get sick.
  • You know, some people had already
  • struggled with being in the closet.
  • And I'm a true believer that a lot of gay people
  • have addiction problems because they had pains growing up
  • or problems with a family not accepting me.
  • I was lucky in that respect, and I think lucky in general
  • throughout my whole life.
  • I'm sure some people made some comments about me
  • behind my back.
  • But no one has ever made fun of me being gay my whole life.
  • But I know a lot of people suffered.
  • And I think that coupled with AIDS
  • is unbearable for a lot of people.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: You were initially
  • involved in the start of HPA.
  • Is that correct?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: You know, I was a little more involved
  • in the startup of AIDS Rochester, I think.
  • But a close friend of mine Dan Meyers and a few others
  • actually started HPA.
  • I always helped in terms of fund raising or things like that.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: OK, so that's somebody in Rochester.
  • Talk to me about initially being involved with that
  • and getting that up and going.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, I can remember
  • I was asked by Sue Cowell to basically
  • be one of the founders with her and John Altieri.
  • But because I owned the spa, I felt, well,
  • there could be problems down the road.
  • So I actually sent Alan Davidson,
  • who was in (unintelligible) at the time.
  • So Alan Davidson, and Sue Cowell,
  • and John Altieri became known as the founders of AIDS Rochester.
  • But I basically was heavily involved, very, from day one.
  • And that's an interesting history too At first,
  • it was a struggle.
  • And it was even a struggle sometimes raising
  • money for that organization from the gay community.
  • Because people weren't really totally getting it yet maybe.
  • And there certainly wasn't a lot of state and federal funding
  • initially.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: But you persevered.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Yeah, I think a lot of us persevered,
  • definitely.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: A lot of you persevered.
  • And AIDS Rochester became one of the benchmarks
  • for organisations around the country.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Absolutely.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I want to get a sense from you--
  • not only your sense of pride for that in what you
  • did to make that happen.
  • But also what is it saying about Rochester,
  • who we are in this community?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, I mentioned earlier that per capita
  • was a lot more gay people in Rochester.
  • But I also think--
  • I'm going to use the word intelligence.
  • There was lot of smart gay people
  • in this town over the past 30 years in my opinion.
  • And part of it is partly due to the liberal influence, I think,
  • at the U of R. But even politicians way
  • back when accepted things here before other places I feel.
  • I can tell you when I had The Liberty in 1984,
  • some old nasty sergeant in the police department
  • would come in, stand at my bar, at one of two,
  • and just dare us to serve a drink after 2 o'clock.
  • And at the time, Gordon Urlacher was a police captain.
  • And I had met him a few times and then
  • I thought we had a bind.
  • So I called up captain Urlacher.
  • I said, you know, this guy comes in on the weekends.
  • He stands here.
  • He looks like he hates us, and I'm sure he does.
  • And Gordon Urlacher said to me, he said,
  • you're never going to see him again.
  • And I never saw him again.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: That's nice.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: It was a rough, tough police chief who got it
  • back in the '80s too, right?
  • And Mayor Ryan got it too.
  • He is very friendly, I thought.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Well, you know what,
  • I'll ask about the AIDS thing just a little bit.
  • Again, rallying this community for that cause,
  • just talk to me about some of the things
  • that you were personally involved in, and again, some
  • of the things that you take great pride in initiating
  • or supporting, or being involved with that really brought us
  • together as a community.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well I don't want to take too much credit.
  • I just think that this is a great time
  • for getting people together and making something good happen.
  • I'm sure there going to need to be a lot more people involved
  • in the AIDS Rochester.
  • And it's just amazing how all of us
  • came together and made that happen.
  • And I give credit to Bill Valenti,
  • who broke away from Strong and made CHN happen.
  • And I also give credit to Strong.
  • Because Strong is really--
  • I mean, they trained Bill Valenti.
  • Strong never really sought much attention,
  • but they also played an amazing role in this community.
  • You get some of the best health care.
  • Richard Reichman, with Anthony Fauci, NIH before he
  • headed up Strong.
  • And again, here's a guy, married, kids,
  • very gay-friendly.
  • I still see this guy today to have dinner now and then.
  • He's just that type of guy.
  • So blessed we have been with people that rallied,
  • straight and gay, for that cause.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Talk to me about when
  • you decided to turn more away from activism
  • and more into politics.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, I don't know if I turned away, but--
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: You did in your own ways kind
  • of a little bit of activism, but from a different approach.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Part of the way I get involved in politics
  • was to influence political leaders for AIDS funding.
  • It didn't take me long to realize
  • that to get attention with some political people,
  • you have to raise money and you have to get their ear.
  • So part of my agenda was to get a little more involved
  • in politics.
  • I'm sure, to a degree, it's a trial,
  • even though I was always interested in politics.
  • But one of it certainly was to move the AIDS agenda
  • line in our society.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: But it became more than that.
  • It became more than AIDS.
  • It became then gay marriage and civil rights.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I know.
  • I was asked to be on the board of directors of ASPA
  • a long time ago.
  • And when I got there, Sue Cowell was involved,
  • Merck and Duffy were involved, and John Altieri.
  • And I thought, all right, well.
  • And I can't remember how long I stayed on.
  • But again, I saw the AIDS funding
  • maybe even locally going down.
  • And even to a degree, ASPA was competing
  • with raising money for AIDS.
  • And I also thought between Merck and Duffy, and Sue, and John,
  • this is a powerhouse.
  • Maybe I'd better get back to Rochester
  • and worry about the AIDS group.
  • So I eventually resigned from ASPA, although personally,
  • it probably would have been more fun to maybe stand there.
  • But I felt my duty was to stand on the AIDS mark for sure.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: So overall, my question to you then is why?
  • What drives you so much that you became so supportive and so
  • active in whether it's AIDS or political movement?
  • Because you could very simply just stand back
  • and say, OK, I'm a businessman, I'm
  • catering to the gay community a lot.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, on any given day,
  • I say to myself, why don't you just step
  • back and be a businessman only?
  • [LAUGHS]
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Why don't you?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: First of all, everyone
  • that knows me knows I'm a highly motivated individual, sometimes
  • to the point where, I think, some people around me
  • say, OK, enough already.
  • But I wake up every morning, I'm ready to go, no matter what.
  • And it's not just about successful business.
  • I really like putting things together, and seeing it
  • through, and making it happen.
  • It's just the way my personality is.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: And this is going
  • to be kind of an unfair question because you've done so much.
  • But what do you think has been your greatest
  • impact on the gay community, what's the impact on community
  • as a whole?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I think my involvement with AIDS,
  • definitely.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: A lot of people look at AIDS now
  • as not being as big of a deal as it was.
  • Unfortunately, young people don't realize how big of a deal
  • it is.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Yeah.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Where do you think we are today?
  • Where do you think we stand (unintelligible)?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I'll tell you where I think we are.
  • Six months ago, a 31-year-old friend of mine in New York City
  • called me up.
  • And he had had too much to drink,
  • and he had unsafe sex with someone
  • who knew he was HIV positive.
  • He was not only HIV positive, he knew
  • he had a high viral load, which is like it's a weapon, right?
  • And even though this person knew I was on New York State AIDS
  • Counsel and that I'm on every board for AIDS in this area,
  • he was too embarrassed to call me.
  • Now, if he had called me within time,
  • I would have said, immediately go to NYU
  • and get on some medicine.
  • And this is sad.
  • Some of us know, but most of us don't
  • know that if you have unsafe sex with HIV positive person,
  • you can take medicine the next day.
  • And within 48 hours, they think, they
  • had maybe an 80% chance of not becoming HIV positive.
  • That was a little pet peeve I have right now.
  • So I'm lobbying with Dr. Valenti, and Strong, and MOCHA
  • project, and every place that wants some of my support.
  • I want to see PEP on their websites,
  • post-exposure prophylaxis.
  • This is my current cause in terms of AIDS.
  • But people are always going to have unsafe sex.
  • Some unscrupulous people are going to be HIV positive
  • and knowingly give it to other people, unfortunately.
  • The problem never really seems to go away,
  • in my life at least.
  • It keeps coming back.
  • I accepted that position on New York State AIDS Council
  • and I get really upset that no one's been promoting
  • post-exposure prophylaxis.
  • So I made a few statements at the board meeting.
  • And then we devoted 20 minutes of the AIDS Council meeting
  • to it.
  • But there's still so much work to be done about that now.
  • Because if we can prevent some people
  • from becoming HIV positive by taking $700 worth of medicine
  • for a month or two, it seems like it's very important to me.
  • But it's not out there enough, unfortunately.
  • It's kind of sad.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Let's go back to politics a little bit.
  • So we've got gay marriage passed in New York now.
  • And I'm sure you had some involvement in that,
  • supporting the people, get them into power to make it happen.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Bob Duffy was texting me midnight that night.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Well, let's talk about that.
  • Talk to me about when it finally passed.
  • How did that make you feel?
  • What was your first emotional response to that?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, my first response was,
  • it's about damn time.
  • Because it took a long time, even
  • of massive political activism and a lot of fund raising.
  • So my first response was, OK, it's about time.
  • My second response is, it's certainly well deserved,
  • and people should have a right to marry whom they want.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: But how did you feel
  • knowing that you had a pretty significant role in helping
  • to make that happen?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I could say I felt good about it.
  • But it's just another day for me.
  • I got my causes.
  • And I'm always on to the next one.
  • When that's been reached, I'll celebrate
  • for a few minutes and--
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: That's good to hear.
  • My next question to you is so we got gay marriage passed.
  • What's next?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I think PEP for me is my prime interest right now,
  • definitely.
  • And aside from gay and AIDS issues,
  • I am very worried about economic opportunity.
  • Because I've been fortunate.
  • A lot of people see me as successful as a businessman.
  • And I'm certainly what they call a self-made businessman.
  • I had a lot of attaboys and pats on the back.
  • But I had to create it all myself.
  • I worry, are young entrepreneurs going
  • to have the same opportunity that I had?
  • It really bothers me.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Conflicts for you
  • within the business community.
  • I can't imagine you're out there promoting yourself
  • as a gay businessman within business community.
  • How does a gay businessman fit within the business community?
  • Is it more challenging for you?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: It's never been more challenging for me.
  • I've seen other people struggle with that.
  • And some people feel they've been
  • treated worse because of that.
  • I'll be honest with you, I've never felt that way.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Why do you think that is?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I think maybe it's partly my personality.
  • I think I've gotten away with it if you will.
  • I don't know, I never hid the fact that I was gay.
  • You know what I mean?
  • You know, I started out as the young guy,
  • opened up big gay dance club.
  • And I bought into a bathhouse.
  • And you know, it's such a small town,
  • I think everyone knows I'm gay.
  • And I never wave the flag.
  • I never really felt like--
  • why should anyone wave the flag?
  • I'm Tim Tompkins.
  • I happen to be gay, right?
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Well, and that brings up
  • another question I was thinking about earlier to ask you.
  • And you just reminded me of it.
  • It's that, no, when I think of Tim Tompkins,
  • I don't think of Tim being out there waving the rainbow flag.
  • I don't think of you being out there marching in the parades
  • and doing all stuff.
  • But yet you are making a significant difference.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I have marched in a couple of parades.
  • But you know, sometimes the parades get a little too wild
  • and crazy for me.
  • I'm not going to say I'm a ultraconservative, obviously.
  • I might feel more laid back in some areas, I suppose.
  • I think I'm just a worker.
  • That's the way I would describe myself,
  • whether it's working for a cause or a business.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: And I think that's where
  • I'm trying to get at.
  • You don't have to be out there marching in the parades
  • or waving the flag to make a difference.
  • You came at it from a business sense,
  • you came at it from a political sense.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: If I see something wrong,
  • I'm going to try to fix it.
  • That's my personality.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Now, there was some involvement with you
  • with the Gay Alliance as well, right?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Some, yeah.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: You used to run the board for a while?
  • TIM TOMPKINS: I don't know if I used to run the board.
  • I certainly helped with fund raisers.
  • You know what, I've always been sought out
  • to try to give my opinion in situations that are hard.
  • I remember Evelyn Bailey and Chick Parker calling me,
  • saying, we've been to 20 banks, we can't get a mortgage
  • to the Gay Alliance.
  • And at the time, I was brokering a lot of money around town
  • also, and I got the mortgage.
  • But in and out, I think I've been
  • involved in just about every aspect of gay or AIDS life
  • or aspect.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: What does this say about Rochester,
  • the small little city that we are,
  • that we are able to support an organization like the Gay
  • Alliance?
  • And there are bigger cities that would be
  • envious of this organization.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Again, it speaks to this town.
  • Partly just because of numbers.
  • Probably just because of the economic times we lived in.
  • And apparently because of a very intelligent, caring community
  • I mean, I'm still amazed at what this community does
  • all the time.
  • It's incredible.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: You mentioned something
  • that I wanted to talk about here.
  • Let me go back and touch on it a little bit,
  • about helping the Gay Alliance get
  • a mortgage for the building.
  • Tell me that story.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, first of all, you know,
  • as a businessman, I know if one bank says no, most banks are
  • going to say no.
  • I didn't even realize that they were doing it.
  • And when they called me up, it was like Chick and Evelyn
  • there, two of my heroes in the gay community, for sure.
  • And I said, well, let me see what I can do.
  • And I remember I was lending money for a gentleman called
  • Nathan J. Goldberg, who probably was,
  • again, another great mentor in my life.
  • So he certainly solidified and coached me
  • in a serious way in terms of private lending.
  • So I had quite a few mortgages for him at that point in time.
  • And he had three daughters.
  • And a couple of times, he would say, you're not Jewish,
  • but you're like my son.
  • It was his favorite line.
  • So we get along very well.
  • And I called him one day and I said, Nathan,
  • there's a group of gay people that want to buy a building
  • to have offices and meet.
  • And you know what, Nathan was an amazingly open-minded person.
  • And I'm sure-- he didn't voice this, but I'm sure he thought,
  • well, like Jews wanted a place to congregate--
  • I just know how he thought.
  • I remember him saying to me, that makes sense.
  • I said, but there's one other problem.
  • I said, you know, I don't know how
  • we'd get this loan guaranteed by anybody individually
  • at the board members, right?
  • I said, we're going to put a mortgage on the property.
  • And he said, well, you better guarantee the payments are
  • going to be made.
  • And I said, yeah, I'm not worried
  • about the payment being made.
  • So that's how we get the mortgage for the Gay Alliance.
  • (laughs)
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: If you were to have a message for the younger
  • gay generation now, what it ii is they need to be looking to,
  • the challenges that they still need to get--
  • what would you tell them if you were
  • speaking to a bunch of young--
  • TIM TOMPKINS: The first thing I'd say is be safe.
  • Because people their age group are still
  • getting AIDS, which is very discouraging for an old man
  • like me that put all their time and money behind people
  • not getting AIDS.
  • So that probably would be my first message.
  • Second, sometimes I think the younger gay community doesn't
  • really have an appreciation.
  • And this isn't coming from some ego statement on my part.
  • But they don't necessarily get what our age group did.
  • Nor do they necessarily directly appreciate it maybe.
  • I think one problem with the gay community
  • that they can be too focused upon youth.
  • And they're interested in their own gender,
  • in their own generation of interest.
  • So that would be my--
  • that warning and that slight disappointment let's say.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I think we covered it, Evelyn.
  • Can you think of anything?
  • EVELYN BAILEY: Tim, what kind of involvement
  • would you have with the HIV vaccine trials at Strong?
  • You supported that heavily.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Yeah.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Yeah, let's talk about that.
  • Talk to me about the vaccine trials.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Well, the vaccine trials were a big hope.
  • And who knows if that's going to be the answer still today?
  • A few years ago, we got a little more excited again.
  • But then the tests weren't necessarily
  • done properly we found out.
  • Let's hope it someday really happens.
  • But still, the answer is safe sex
  • and if we can get the kids to do it.
  • But eventually, probably, obviously, there
  • will be a vaccine.
  • It certainly has proved to be one of the hardest vaccines
  • to make happen.
  • If you compare polio or TB, the amount
  • of money in research put in the HIV vaccine
  • would be astronomical.
  • But again, we are lucky to have Strong and U of R complex here.
  • They were recipients of huge NIH grants,
  • which I understand right now are probably in jeopardy.
  • There's been a shift.
  • Jack Reichman left, he retired.
  • And that was a guy who carried a lot of international weight.
  • So I'm not sure if the vaccine trials
  • are going to continue at Strong like they have.
  • And I think that some people tire of the expense
  • and without a result. So I hope the vaccine trials do well.
  • And I always think positive.
  • I think eventually it will happen.
  • And I got a local guy, Dr. Michael Keefer
  • is in charge of that now.
  • And it's always been his project with declaration
  • and a supervisor.
  • And Mike is a great guy.
  • He's really involved.
  • Another example of a straight person or outsider
  • who is totally comfortable in the gay community and totally
  • caring person.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: There is one person
  • I want to ask you about because I ask everybody about this guy.
  • It's Tony Green.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Tony Green.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: You know Tony a lot, like me.
  • I can't imagine--
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Sure I did, yeah.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Tell me about Tony Green.
  • TIM TOMPKINS: Tony and I fought over a couple of boyfriends
  • at times.
  • (laughs) We had competitive bar interests at times.
  • But we were always pretty friendly.
  • And I can remember Tony calling me up quite a few times
  • after I'd raised some money or make a donation
  • to AIDS Rochester.
  • And he would get emotional, and tear up,
  • and said, oh, Tim, I just really want to thank you very much.
  • Again, he is one of the first bartenders
  • I ever saw out there.
  • I mean he is funny and a great bartender.
  • I don't know, I couldn't not say it again.
  • These people were great.
  • (laughs)
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: Great
  • CREW: Done deal.
  • KEVIN INDOVINO: I just thought there's an interesting story
  • I just heard the other day.