Ebony's ten rules of dating
"The following ten rules for dating in the '90s, aimed at curbing the spread of AIDS, are based on the suggestions of medical experts, parents, teachers and youth counselors.""Rule 1. Don't assume that every date expects, or wants, to become sexually involved. Many young Blacks, both male and female, would prefer to abstain because of religious or other considerations. Yet, under peer pressure, they have adopted 'making out' as the main object of dating. Remember that the safest sex is still no sex at all. So if you are not particularly sexually inclined, don't be embrassed to admit to your date that you would prefer to relate on a non-sexual basis.Rule 2. Learn the difference between safe and unsafe sex. Whether you are sexually active or not, make sure you don't belong to that surprisingly large number of people who are woefully lacking in knowledge about protected or safe sex. If you do, familiarize yourself thoroughly with the dos and don'ts of safe sex through literature and/or discussions with your physician, AIDS counselors or health officials, and (if you are or have been sexually active) and an HIV test before embarking on your next date.Rule 3. Be frank in stating your position on sex. When first getting acquainted with a new date, explain that (for your own and your date's protection) you will have to proceed initially on the assumption that your date has been exposed to the AIDS-causing virus. In other words, until you both know much more about each other and your life-styles, there will be no sex.Rule 4. Make the condom your main defense against AIDS. Whether you are male or female, young or old, as long as you are a sexually active participant in the dating game, don't leave home without it. If you are a female about to have sex, don't feel too embrassed to admit that you came prepared to offer your condoms in case your partner, for whatever reason, arrived condomless. Since some people, especially men, have a strong aversion to using condoms, don't let a sex partner talk you into 'proving your love' by permitting condomless intercourse.Rule 5. Absolutely never engage in anal sex. Of all sexual practices, it is, physicians warn, the most dangerous form of intercourse with regard to the transmission of AIDS.Rule 6. Learn your date's sexual views and attitudes before (not after or during) an actual sexual encounter. One of the biggest obstacles to effectively reducing the spread of AIDS are attitudes based on such spurious reasoning as 'nothing will happen to me until my number is up," or "I'll have to die of something anyway. So, why bother with safe sex?Rule 7. Avoid (literally like the plague) multiple (meaning two or more) sex partners. Each additional partner increases the statistical likelihood of meeting Mr. or Ms. Wrong - a person who is HIV positive or has AIDS. For the same reason, do not engage in so-called 'one-night stands.' Instead of dating randomly, confine your choice of dates to persons who, in your opinion, are likely prospects for a stable, monogamous relationship.Rule 8. Remember that looks can be deceiving. While making new acquaintances, don't assume that because someone looks clean-cut and seems to come from a 'good home,' he or she is in perfect health. Some persons who make that claim may act in good faith and not know that they have AIDS or the virus. Others, however, may know but conceal their knowledge in order not to be rejected. Your best bet is not to become physical with anybody before you are thoroughly familiar with his or her lifestyle. People you have just met may be IV drug users, have multiple sex partners or belong to other high-risk groups with regards to AIDS, such as homosexual and bisexual males, persons who have or have had sex with homosexuals or bisexual males, and male and female prostitutes.Rule 9. Abstain from, or go easy on, the use of alcohol before and during sex. Too much alcohol in your system can interfere with your ability to reason, and could cause you to throw caution to the wind and engage in unsafe sex practices. Rule 10. Seek your doctor's advice in all sexual matters that are puzzling you. If, for instance, you are not sure how to handle your sexuality within a dating environment, ask your doctor to help sort things out for you."
Page of text, with a small photograph of a couple holding hands.
AIDS Education Collection
Johnson Publishing Company (Chicago, Ill.). Ebony
New York, USA
28.0cm x 21.5cm
University of Rochester, River Campus Libraries, Department of Rare Books, Special Collections & Preservation
[Item title, item date], AIDS Education Collection; Department of Rare Books, Special Collections, and Preservation; River Campus Libraries, University of Rochester.
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